This has to be the most demanding part of our lives. I will be the first to admit, in the midst of working, paying bills, responding to the kids’ needs, fixing cars and house issues, running to events, and trying to fit in the slightest me time, giving my wife undivided attention can be challenging. Eventually we end up on different pages, disconnected from one another, and discontentment in our marriage rears its ugly head.
Time and communication are the lifeblood of any relationship. However, if we have too little of both for the person we are “one flesh” with, it creates marriage conflict. Implementing these 10 creative ways to spend more time with your wife can help solve the problem.
1. Talk about it
A declared objective is the first step toward change.A declared objective is the first step toward change. Talk about “together time” with your wife. Let her know you want to increase time, then make your plans together. This small step will help avoid loneliness that you or your wife might feel in your marriage.
2. Measure it
There’s a tried and true principle in psychological measurement that declares the following. Self-assessment has a positive effect on the behavior being appraised. If, for example, you keep track of money spent on soft drinks, the act of measuring will reduce the number of drinks. If – in fitness – you keep track of miles walked, you tend to walk more. If, in a relationship, you measure the amount of time spent with your wife, the time count will necessarily increase – independent of any other intervention.
3. Exercise together
This is win-win. Both you and your spouse benefit from the exercise and – additionally – the relationship benefits from the time together.
4. Sign up for a class together
Community college: ballroom dancing, cooking, art appreciation, and gardening. Then you can carry her books and – later – help her with her homework.
5. Work your way through a “One Tank Trip” book together
Extra points if you try this one. Most communities offer excursion guides to places within a half-tank of gas from home. It’s a great way to learn about your region while enjoying personal time.
6. Volunteer together
This is another “two-fer.” Doing good, together with your wife and growing your marriage in the context of service to the community.
7. Take it in turns to organize a “mystery adventure date” once a month
The key here – when it’s your turn – is do the research to find out what she enjoys. It could be a weekend tour of local a lighthouse, star gazing with a telescope, a simple picnic on a tablecloth in her favorite state park, or a series of local museums. Use your imagination, make it count, and take turns.
8. Step out together down memory lane
Collate and organize some scrapbooks that document family history – on both sides of the tree. You’ll end up retelling the stories, laughing together, remembering, spending time together, plus you will have a resource that you’ll treasure the rest of your lives.
9. Interview some elderly relatives
Work up the questions together, record or video the dialog, and take photographs. She’ll love that you’re interested in her family – you’ll be astounded how much cool stuff you’ll learn.
10. Interview one another
Help each other come up with a list of questions, and then go through the process. Take notes, listen, learn, and take it from there.
Huddle up with your wife and ask, “Is there a time frame we could block off every day to spend some time together?”