Marriage Tips

Ever wish marriage came with an instruction manual? While we can’t provide that, we can offer marriage tips for men to help you love your wife well.

rules for fighting in relationships

Ground Rules for Fighting in Relationships

Every sport needs some kind of referee. A safe and fair contest needs consistently enforced rules. It's never going to be the most glamorous element of the game, but a solid rulebook is still an absolutely critical component. Ask the Packers. They remember 2012, the year marked by the NFL referee lockout. On the final play of Monday Night Football, September 24, the Packers defense protecting a slim lead, Seattle Seahawks receiver Golden Tate pushed off cornerback Sam Shields in order to gain position to make the game-winning catch. But the replacement referees didn't know their rulebooks. They missed obvious offensive pass interference and ruled a simultaneous catch. Touchdown, Seattle. Final score: Seahawks 14, Packers, 12. Ouch. How does a rulebook sound now? In a similar way, ground rules for fighting fair in your marriage will never be the most appealing aspect of your relationship, but when tension and frustration begin to dominate an encounter with your spouse, you would be wise to have a few prearranged, mutually agreed upon rules in place. Does the idea of rules for fighting sound strange? Some guys think so; but the energy you spend with your wife to generate a couple of basic, inviolate rules for conflict will repay any amount of discomfort you incur upfront. Keep this in mind, too: Different couples might need their own unique rules. For example, one rule in our marriage: Never call your spouse by their mom’s name. I did that once; and, it immediately got enshrined in our list of rules! (Fellow husbands, live and learn. This was a spectacularly bad idea.) So you might have different, situation-specific rules for your marriage, but there are a couple of core rules that I would advocate for any marriage and any fight. . . .

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