I have read these comments and a lot of those making the comments have very accurate views of the issues and challenges faced by most fathers and families,particualarly African American families. In Boston Massachusetts ,I started a program that addresses these challenges and a way to develop new approaches to consider. For instance, fathers should not be afraid to step-up to the plate, they must voice their concerns and try to develop a positive relationship with the other parent. We must participate in the child's life,not by just giving money,but by spending quality time where possible. In other words,we as fathers need to be supportive to our children morally,socially and emotionally not just financially. We must support each other as well. I have even gone further and avocated that we as African American fathers need to learn and develop new and improved contemporary parenting skills that are culturally competent and adds value to our best efforts. We must also remember that it's about our children,not about us! When we walk away or ignore our responsibility we increase the chances of our children becoming a statistic. We need to build training programs in all of the cities and in our communities so that we can learn and teach. We have a web site: academyofafricanamericanfathers.com. If you want to start a program in your city contact us. In the future we are changing our name to the "Academy of African American and Latino Fathers" to reflect our communties that we serve. The time is right for fathers to get back into the leadership role. However, we must relearn how to capture and maintain our roles for the future of our children and the future of our family institution. Our organization is part of the Shared Roles and Responsibilies of the Massachusetts Department of Children and Families,formerly called "DSS" or the "Department of Social Services". We wil be providing,among other services, training programs and mentors for young fathers and families. We have a program in place for incarcerated fathers, who will be returning back into the home and in the community. We all have to be proactive and we must stick together! After all, we are in the same boat.

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Dads are figures of auhority in the home. When children don't have the opportunity of learning how to obey authority and instructions from home, they find it difficult to respect constituted authorities outside the home. That's why the prisons are bulging. Fathers, wake up to your responsibilities.

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We need to to eliminate the Federal Financial Incentives that reward states for breaking up families for profit. More children are growing up without dads because states get money for destroying families.

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OK, I'm cheating--I'm a mom, not a dad--, but I wanted give a little encouragement to Mike and other divorced dads. My parents separated when my three brothers and I were very young. My father didn't live with us, so he missed out on alot of "dad" stuff. He didn't see us very often when we were kids, but when he did, we got his undivided attention. He alway made it very clear to us that spending time with us was the best fun he could ever have, and that we could come to him with any problem. He loved us with everything he had. He made sure that we knew that he thought we were the greatest kids ever born. In addition, no matter what, he always treated my mother with respect and kindness. Our family situation was way less than ideal, but he never gave up his position as "Daddy".

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I am a Kenyan father to a 4yr girl and 2yr boy (with baby no. 3 on the way). You'll be surprised to know that these statistics somewhat reflect what is going on even in the developing world! My wife and I are passionate about parenting. We are co-facilitators in a 10-week parenting class at our church. I agree with Walt who says that a father can be at home yet absent. One way I keep in touch with my kids is to do the "silly" things with them. This is as simple as rolling on the carpet, looking for ants in the grass, reading books together, tucking them in (and the prayer for all manner of requests, including the miscellenious cockraooch!). We've done shopping with the kids since they were born. What I'm I getting at? Dads, please involve your kids in YOUR lives. Go select some lumber for your next project together. Get up in the night and take them to "do potty". Above all, treat the women in your life -esecially your wife- with respect. They will learn from you...

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It's tough being a single father, to a 14m , 12m, 10f, & twin 8yr girls. I've been raising all of them for 5 years now, Struggling to make th mortguage, not being able to provide the name brands they'd like , trying to have activities,sports etc, All I know is I do'nt think to much about it , I just wake up in the morning & thank GOD for everything, & realize he has it all in his hands,whice I'm glad for, get all of them to school,cook, clean, homework,bills, go to work,make it to church, most of the time ,I tell you it doesn't seem to be much Love out there, or understanding for single dads ,but it'd going to be allright.Gotta go pick up kids right now ,have a blessed day.vafm2

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Mike makes a tremendous point. Fortunate enough myself not have been down that road, I have heard numerous similar stories from dads suffering the same fate. Two at my kids' bustop for example. He's right, more voice needs to be lent to this subject. My sense is that there are a lot of fathers out there that are so beat up by the "system", that they are left empty - emotionally and financially. I wish you luck Mike, and don't give up, for your boys' sake. They will come to learn (and it may be years down the road) what it was that you did for them.

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Just a comment in addition to the statistics above. This is not from a survey just my own observation. I belong to a support group for men with sex addictions. In the last 4 years that I have attended I have not yet met a man who attended who had a close, loving relationship with his father. So to expand the above statistics I would propose that while having a father present, so long as he is not abusive, is better than no father, a loving father will almost certainly promise a bright future for his children. However, even if a father is present, if he is unloving or disengaged this will likely lead to many difficulties in the lives of his children. Many of these disengaged fathers came from difficult childhoods themselves. Still there is hope for fathers and for their families if they are fortunate enough to be reached out to by other men and if they will respond to the love from these men. A broken childhood is not something they will very likely overcome on their own. And if it is not worked out through counseling or some sort of discipleship/support group these men are likely to fail as fathers as well.

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A father can absent from his children’s life even though he is living in the home. This can happen for a variety of reasons. My wife, a stay at home mom, is from a fatherless home and has a difficult time allowing me to have appropriate parenting input. She believes that she has a better understanding of our kids and their needs. Often she is right but at times her opinions are biased towards freedoms or desires she had as a child. She is guided by what she wanted as a child not what is appropriate as a parent. We have had situations where she has gone behind my back and rescinded decisions we made as parents, effectively neutering me as a father. It is a conflict that my wife and I have unable to resolve even with counseling. However I still hold hope that we will someday find resolution. I ask for parents to work together to help mom be a better mother and dad to be a better father. I believe that this is a more important issue for our kids than the correctness of our rules and the opportunities we give them.

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This should be emailed to all the TV execs. in America. Other than perhaps Cosby, since the 70's all Dads have been portrayed as stupid, moronic idiots who contribute more trouble than their worth to their families portrayed on TV. Who could imagine from their portrayals of us that in real life we could have so much value to contribute to our children's upbringing.

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Yes, BUT what about fathers who are there, but don't have a clue about what it is to be a father. Add to the fact that many young males still learn from how they see their "dad" treat their mothers. This adds to the pain of growing up fatherless or at least not seeing the right example of love and sacrifice demonstrated in a way that shows the meaning and purpose of not only being a man, but the meaning and purpose of marriage as well. I'd like to see more on this topic in the future. Some men so have a "man" there, but an example of a Godly man is another subject! Thanks for looking out.

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I work with boys in my church's junior high age group and see a huge difference in the ones that have a stable home life, i.e. a Dad in their lives, vs. the ones that don't.

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I'm working with civic, church and government organizations in our community to start a mentoring initiative wherein mature men are encouraged to volunteer and agree to partner with young (typically teenage) fathers who are absent from the lives of their children. I ask for prayers and God's wisdom and direction in this effort.

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Sad. But let's make sure not to teach abstinence. Great idea.

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This is alarming. I coach Football at a local high school and I can't tell you how many kids in our program who don't have a Dad. I pray for their future and for young men across the country.

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That article sure adds a new meaning to the upcoming Father's Day . . . go Dads!!!

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With such great financial incentive for the system and one parent (usually a stay at home mother) to separate a father from his children, it makes it very difficult for a single dad such as myself to see much hope to be the same dad I used to be. It's quite painful to see my boys seeming more emotionally unstable. I now support two households on a single income and see my kids when I can. I feel quite powerless in many ways now. I'd fight more but I already spent quite a bit on lawyers who seemed to be equally in on the financial fleecing. So now making my best use of resources I find myself in a mode of temporary retreat. No fight will be won until enough people tell their stories and we see the system for what it is worth and how it destroys.

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