I recently just found out my 8 year old daughter has a face book and a myspace page. Upone finding this out I immediatly deleted both I do not want her to have one now do to all the sick things in the world I feel it is my job as a father to protect her. After I delted them her mother whom she says with 3 nights outta the week went back and made another one. I have delted it atleast 5 times and she still continues to do it. We currently have a ,man here stalking kids who is a know sexual predator. Does any one have any advise on what to do so her mother can not do this anymore. I mean it has to be child neglet to put your child out there like that. and when I first ask her about it she had to wait till our child got home from school to ask for the password. That in its self if pathetic that a mother dont monitor on the inter- net. All help is needed please.

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Julie, perhaps if you were more "networked" with society you would not be so closed-minded. Are you so set in your dogma that you are willing to lose your own son?

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So your son was "convinced" he was gay? OK. Ever thought he may actually BE gay? Do you think if it weren't for social media and the evil technology monster that he wouldn't be gay? Sounds like you've completely given up on your son. Maybe he needs you now more than ever to accept the possibility that this may be who he is and not just a "bad choice" or the result of him being "stalked". Isn't there room for forgiveness and acceptance in your faith? Remember, what you do now will impact your relationship with your son forever.

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i think the 'latest' comment from julie.....SAYS IT ALL....just because 'everybody's doing it' is the VERY reason I, myself will NOT do it!!! i own several businesses, use the computer everyday....our children are grown, however, they do not use facebook, & our grandchildren are too young to even think about it ,however, they WILL survive in this world by 'traveling w/their parents, going towork occasionally w/them , playing w/their pets, friends & school friends ( that mom & dad approve of ......just like 'we all' did as children & parents!!!!)...the computer is a 'tool'.....not a necissity for social life....i 'enjoy' getting emails (some!) just like anyone else.....& have found the 'quick communications' a real + with our businesses.....that is ENOUGH.....people have 'gone with the WORLD, & think they NEED social networking....very sad!

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I think the list above is very naive. I trusted my 16 year old son to make the right choices. We'd given him a Christian background, church, youth group, parents who are involved, a Mom who stays home, which I thought was enough to protect my son from certain things. I was wrong. I made him give me the link to his myspace/facebook pages, I had the passwords to his pages & his email account. What naive thing I overlooked was the fact that they have access to the computers in the library at school and can create as many other email accounts as they like...without my knowledge. Which he did. On his 'secret' facebook and myspace pages, he met many strangers 'online' including some homosexual men (over age 25) who stalked him. They eventually got his phone number out of him and learned about his school & work place. They convinced him he should be gay. This tore our family apart and my son now believes he is gay, doesn't follow our faith anymore, moved out and is living with his father (my ex) who doesn't have a clue. My son is so far gone, I pray I can protect my other children from making similar mistakes. Our answer to technology? NO technology. NO exceptions, NO compromises.

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I'm Kinda tired of this whole e-culture and "its all about me" propagation. I rather enjoy seeing my kid playing outside with real live friends, the family pets, going for bike rides etc...... Unfortunately.....these "social networking" sites frequently push kids to be someone they are not or someone you would not be proud of......just to be "cool" on their pages and pursue the twisted idea of "how many e-friends" can I get.....My kid can use the internet and email at home but does not need to publish anything personal... while still a child...on the internet. Think about it.....why does everyone in the world need to be able to see your kid, their friends, the friends of their friends etc...... The following quote amazes me "...all 1000 of her fans have vowed to keep her safe...." Ever read Little Red Riding Hood?

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How come that a 13 years old girl has 1000 friends. I think you are creating a monster. Sit back and think. DO YOU HAVE 1000 very close and best friends?? To play is save for a teenager, they should not have more then 20 friends on FB, including family members. If your daughter has 1000 connections and friends, she has access to 10s of thousands on FB. Also, they have access to her.

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We just had a very positive experience with our 13 year old daughter. She had been asking for a FB account for some time. Her best friend posted a page encouraging frineds to Vote for my duaghter to get her page (with my support). She had to get 1000 votes before we would put up her page. This gave us a chance to watch who was supporting her, what was being said, and the responses from friends. My duaghter and I would sit each evening and review the names and talk about how people who don't even know her could get access to this page. We saw how easy it was for others to find out stuff about her even though she had not posted it (ie her age, where she lived, what she looked like) as others had posted this information about her. To show her my support, when she got to 900 names, I joined and called in my friends. She was delighted with my involvement and thanked me often. Since we set up her page we have followed all the suggestions listed here and more. One important rule we have is that she is not allowed to accept or request any friends without our pre-approval. SO far she is doing well and all 1000 of her fans have vowed to help keep her safe. I know lots can happen but I feel we have a good foundation.

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Absolutly! I do everything that was listed. There wasn't even a question from her, because she knows it's my job to keep up with what she does, who she speaks with. Go for it Dad! Your way or nothing! :) p.s. I have found it is fun too!

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I was pretty proud of myself after reading this, because that is exatly what I did! Praise God! lol

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It easy to monitor the FB wall converstaions, but you need to watch out for chat because they can easily be deleted. And then there is the issue of mobile access if your child has a cell phone. And then, as someone mentioned, a savy kid can create an account, access elsewhere than home, and/or delete history at home(if you don't have tracking software). We are finding that it is difficult to control a child(or adult for that matter) that wants to sin.

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If you do nto have an account with facebook, but your chidl does, GET ONE NOW! At least know how to log into their account with thier password obviously. You need to know what is going on in your child's world and this is the best way if she/h has any social network account

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The bottom line, whether we're talking about Facebook or anything else, is open lines of communication. My daughter is 14 and gladly opens up her page to me. My wife and I are both on facebood, and we are facebook friends with her. I personally know all of her friends very well, and I am comfortable with the decisions that all of these young ladies make. If you stay involved with your child from a young age, these things don't have to become an issue.

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absolutely kirk. if your child signs up and is on fb without your knowledge, you won't know they have a page. i think if your child or children are against the idea of you being on the page, there is one idea to share with them. when they were little you didn't tell them to look both ways to cross the road to take away their fun, but rather to keep them safe. with fb, there are some pretty dangerous "cars" out there and you are trying to keep them safe. especially if they don't see the "car" coming.

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Good recommendations but does anyone have any ideas on how to get a childs MySpace page discontinued because I know that the people at MySpace dont really check if the person is of age that is has the page. I am having issues with my daughters MySpace page, kids now days have the access to get around blocks that you may have on your computers to get to such pages. Anything will help at this time....

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Also be aware that when you have a Facebook account, many of the kids use the email feature to send comments and information they don't want their parents to see. I'm not sure you can disable this feature but a copy of it is sent on my account to my email. I have noticed that a lot of the older teenagers use the email feature to bypass their parents seeing stuff on their wall page. The wall page is public, the email is not public. I'm learning a lot (and having fun) with my own Facebook account which I am doing before I will let my 13 yr. old have an acct.

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Great tips! I just joined Facebook last weekend, mainly so I can learn the in's and out's before my daughter asks to join. She's 12 and I know it won't be long, but she is very responsible so far with any computer time she gets, so I'm hoping that with the experience I gain from using Facebook now, plus your wonderful tips, her experience with sites like Facebook will be a positive one!

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HOOOOT Topic!! My tips for protection from the internet: 1. Tracking software for accountability, it's also good for adults. 2. Children should not have a computer (or TV in their bedroom) 3. All computers in the home, even if the children have purchased them, are under the parent's rules and should have passwords set by the parents. 4. Yes, my wife and I have access to our teenage children's Facebook, but do not link to their friends. We can see plenty about their friends when reviewing their profiles. 5. We have them remove friends that are not appropriate in their communication or profile links 6. We are teaching them not to discuss all the times that they and our family are gone from our home so that theft temptation will not get out to the public. (check out the latest news on Twitter an FB with too much info being divulged.)

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FYI on add-on applications. Some appear safe and innocent enough, but can have hidden aspects. Some allow anyone else (non-freinds) to have access to not only your information and pics, but also ANY and ALL of your friend's info and pics! One in particular to monitor is OWNED (you bid on and "own" other people's pics, and can gift them to other freinds). If you search long enough (sometimes only minutes) for other pics available to "purchase" you can quickly encounter pics that are of "Playboy / Hustler Mag" quality. Facebook states that such pics are against thier rules, and will remove them if you report them. However, they are extremely plentiful and easily found - even without intending to. As well, even in the younger age groups, there are still young teens (and younger) posting provocative self-photos of themselves. Keep an extra watch on some of these applications, and take the time to delve into them a bit before trusting them.

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Great, its a vital set of rules to abide with. Facebook contains a lot of good and worldly things and if care is not taken, watching over our children, teenagers, strange things do filter into their mentality. Once again thaank u for the food for thoughts. God bless.

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Excellent rules to follow - I like them all and I'm sure my daughter wouldn't mind either. She is 12 and is begging to get on facebook. Most of her friends are already on facebook and have lied about their age (I think you are supposed to be at least 13). I signed up for my own facebook account about 6-9 months ago and I'm so happy I did! It takes a while to learn how to use the site. I asked a lot of questions to people that have been on it awhile. It takes some time to properly set up the privacy settings but this is very important especially when setting up accounts for our children. Thanks for the rules - I'm going to use them.

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I agree with Eric, this is a great list of rules. I was asked the question a couple of months ago of how best to police their kids FB usage. I really didn't have a good answer. This list is very straight forward, and contains some great suggestions on monitoring your kids' activity on not only FB, but other sites as well. Two things to consider: the parents' rules, despite the parents' best intentions, only work inside the house. The second is that parents must be wise to the idea that their kids may keep separate FB accounts. Nothing limits the number of accounts you may have... Be aware of ALL traffic flowing through your network!

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Is it possible for your child to maintain a Facebook account without the parents' knowledge by blocking access to their page? Would this prevent the page from appearing even in a search?

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One surprise from using Facebook, was individuals that get added as friends, then surprisingly use occasional profanity and other colorful phrases. These phrases show up in the "News Feed" on your child's Facebook page. Perhaps, it would be good for friends to be notified when added, that they will be dropped or content blocked (indefinitely) if such an event occurs.

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Ok, so I read my husband's All Pro too. Great stuff and I get iMOM also. I recently let my 13yo daughter on Facebook. All the above are great suggestions (which I do) and I would like to add one more. My stipulation for letting her open an account was that all of her friends have to agree to be my friends. Not the most popular rule but she wanted on it bad enough to comply. The reason I insisted on this is b/c even though you may have access to her page, they can "hide" information that she doesn't want you to see. So far, so good! Thanks All Pro!

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These are great guidelines to follow. Curious to hear parental challenges on enforcing the rules and/or bad experiences with facebook or other sites. Can you control the the ads that appear on the side of the page. We also know of a child that set up a facebook for her friend without her friends permission. Doesn't seem like there is much monitoring of accounts being set up. Kids can just say they are over 18 and set one up. Appreciate any feedback.

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Gary, get on facebook. These are excellent recommendations to follow. Depending, of course, on your daughters maturity. But the best thing you can do is learn facebook. If you ask your daughter to teach you then it's a great bonding opportunity also. Geoff

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I am familar with Facebook. Those are very good rules. With a daughter at that age, I would monitor her page. You will be able to see whoever she talks to. She cannot access most peoples site without becoming a friend first. There are some that have their settings so everyone can see their page, but not many. The biggest thing is make sure she knows that future employers can get access to her site. (I know of people that all their job is to check Facebook, myspace of possible hirees and current employees) Do not put anything on that site that you wouold not show an employer. Hope that helps

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I'm pretty clueless as far as Facebook goes and I have a 13 year old daughter that likes to use it. Does anyone have any input as to whether these are reasonable rules? Thanks!

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