Divorce is a fact of life in America. But are there rules of etiquette when it comes to the aftermath of marriages that have ended? Divorce is difficult for everyone, often especially for the children. But there are ways for divorced men to soften the blow and start the healing process. We can moderate our behavior and words in ways that, at the very least, don’t make the transition harder than it has to be.
The relationship you forge post-marriage with your ex and how much integrity with which you conduct yourself will determine how well the family adjusts to its new normal. It is truly possible to make it better by using this code of honor for the divorced dad.
D – Devotion to family harmony first.
By placing the emotional security of the family above our own feelings, we provide a greater sense of stability. That will benefit our children greatly as they continue to grow.
I – Integrity in behavior.
A divorced man is starting a brand new life that will bring new people and new experiences. However, your children are sponges and they are soaking up your every move.
V – Vigilant in protecting our children.
Though we may be separated from our kids physically at times after the divorce, we must anticipate trouble and stay fully involved in their daily lives.
O – Optimistic about the future.
When parents divorce, children may feel like their whole world has collapsed. Be sure to instill hope in your children that better times are ahead and that you will always be part of their lives.
R – Reliability in honoring commitments.
It is essential that divorced men keep their word and provide for their families whatever they have promised them, court-ordered or not.
Be sure to remain consistent with your children so they know they aren’t forgotten.C – Consistency with time.
As time moves forward, our lives will bring new challenges and commitments—and perhaps a new family. Be sure to remain consistent with your children so they know they aren’t forgotten.
E – Evaluate our parenting performance regularly.
Self-reflection is critical in moving our lives forward as parents. Routinely assess what you are doing well and where you can improve.
Sound off: Which one of these principles do you think is the hardest to live by?
Huddle up with your ex-wife and declare a truce.