One of the best summer jobs I ever had was renting out powerboats in Annapolis harbor. The scenery was gorgeous every day. One day, a couple took a boat out into the Chesapeake Bay with heavy waves and their boat engine broke down. They called in for help and it was my job to rescue them. I took a boat out there and found them bobbing up and down in five foot swells. I needed to pull alongside of them without damaging the boats which is difficult in that type of chop. I carefully maneuvered the propeller forward just enough to bond the boats together in a perfect parallel. It felt like a miracle and I was able to tow them in to safety.
Marriages can enter choppy waters. Words are powerful and can bring us into a closer bond, but they can also cause us to crash. Our tongue is a rudder we need to control carefully, using words to our wives that bring us closer. [Tweet This] In order to do that, here are 10 things you must say to your wife:
1. I love you: If you’re looking for an answer to “how often?” there isn’t a number! This is something you can’t say too often or in too many ways. If someone brags, “I don’t have to tell her, she already knows,” don’t listen. It’s a lie even if you hear it from your wife herself.
2. You are beautiful: Words to the wise:
- If you believe it, then it is so.
- There is no such thing as a spouse who is not beautiful.
- A woman who is told she is beautiful actually becomes more beautiful.
3. I’d like to know what you’re thinking: Relationships grow best in terms of communication. Kissing (and all that kind of stuff) is a by-product of relationships that are invested in knowing and being known.
4. Thank you: “Thank you for believing in me,” and “Thank you for loving me,” and “Thank you for being strong for me,” and “Thank you for... (dinner, being so beautiful, ironing my shirts, being such a great mom, watching the game with me).” You get the picture.
5. Where would you like to go this evening?: She wants to – she needs to – know that you care about her opinion. And it doesn’t just apply to dinner out. It’s critically important that she understands this is an equal partnership.
6. I was wrong: Let’s be honest; sometimes, we are wrong. In the great scheme of things (believe us), being right is nowhere close to being as important as being gracious when you are not right.
7. You were right: “You were/are right” takes #6 a step further. Your wife wants to know that you respect her. We’re very sure that it’s critical for a wife to know she is respected by her husband.
8. I’m cooking dinner this week: A lot of you are already liberated, forward-thinking men. If so, then move on to #9. If not, and this doesn’t only apply to cooking, believe us when we tell you that it’s to everyone’s advantage that your wife not feel “expected” to do anything “because she’s a woman.” Don’t just tell her the relationship is equal, show her as well.
9. Would you please read me the instructions for this?: That’s right, you heard us! Step off the ego train once in a while and ask for a little help from your sweetie.
10. Instead of watching the game this afternoon, I’d like to go on a long walk with you and just talk: You must communicate clearly to your wife that she is massively important, that you want to spend time with her, and that there’s nothing on television that could even vaguely compete with the delight of her presence. That you want to know her: who she is and what she is thinking.
Sound Off: What does your wife like to hear you say the most?
Huddle up with your wife tonight and tell her: Something I noticed about you lately that makes me smile is …
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