10 Things You Must Say to Your Wife

For many men, it’s too easy to slip out of conversation and into silence - especially when we don’t know exactly what to say. But silence can be deadly to relationships, and if there’s one thing most women agree on it’s this: “I just wish my husband would talk to me.”

Here at All Pro Dad we’re not recommending guys turn into the male version of a “Chatty Cathy,” but we are suggesting your marriage is worth the extra effort when it comes to opening up and talking with your wife.  There is a lot that we really must say to our wives, and the payoff in terms of relationship is well worth it.

Don’t worry, we’re not proposing you start spouting stuff like, “I’m a big fan of Lifetime Television” or turn into a potential guest on Oprah or Dr. Phil. But we are saying it’s past time to say a few of the following things. Fact is, opening up a little can be a game-changer, if only we give it a little thought.

Here are 10 things you simply must say to your wife:

1. I love you: If you’re looking for an answer to “how often?” there isn’t a number! This is something you can’t say too often or in too many ways. If someone brags, “I don’t have to tell her, she already knows”, don’t listen. It’s a lie even if you hear it from your wife herself.

2. You are beautiful: Words to the wise:

   - If you believe it, then it is so.
   - There is no such thing as a spouse who is not beautiful.
   - A woman who is told she is beautiful actually becomes more beautiful.

3. I’d like to know what you’re thinking? Relationships grow best in terms of communication. Kissing (and all that kind of stuff) is a by-product of relationships that are invested in knowing and being known.

4. Thank you: “Thank you for believing in me,” and “Thank you for loving me,” and “Thank you for being strong for me,” and “Thank you for (dinner, being so beautiful, ironing my shirts, being such a great mom, watching the game with me…)”. You get the picture.

5. Where would you like to go this evening? She wants to – she needs to – know that you care about her opinion. And it doesn’t just apply to dinner out. It’s critically important that she understands this is an equal partnership.

6. I was wrong: Let’s be honest. Sometimes we are wrong. In the great scheme of things, believe us, being right is nowhere close to being as important as being gracious when you are not right.

7. You were right: “You were/are right” takes #6 a step further. Your wife wants to know that you respect her. We’re very sure that it’s critical for a wife to know she is respected by her husband.

8. I’m cooking dinner this week: A lot of you are already liberated, forward-thinking men. If so, then move on to #9. If not, and this doesn’t only apply to cooking, believe us when we tell you that it’s to everyone’s advantage that your wife not feel “expected” to do anything “because she’s a woman.” Don’t just tell her the relationship is equal, show her as well.

9. Would you please read me the instructions for this? That’s right, you heard us! Step off the ego train once in a while and ask for a little help from your Sweetie.

10. Instead of watching the game this afternoon, I’d like to go on a long walk with you and just talk: You must communicate, clearly, to your wife that she massively important, that you want to spend time with her, that there’s nothing on television that could even vaguely compete with the delight of her presence, and that you want to know her – who she is and what she is thinking.

Connect with All Pro Dad
President, Mark Merrill on