10 Ways to Stay Connected With Your Children

1. Keep It Real
   Talk to your kids in a manner that is not condescending. Open communication squashes so many potential issues. Have real and honest conversations at every possible chance. Do not be afraid to share stories from your childhood with them as examples. It lends you credibility in their eyes.

2. Warning Signs
   Some children just won’t tell you much no matter your efforts. It is important to know the warning signs of potential problems if this is the case. From the website of the Brigham Hospital comes the following list:

   Poor Grades
   Out-of-control actions
   Bullying
   Expressions of hopelessness
   Risky behavior
   Chronic anger

   If your child exhibits these traits, they are giving you a non-verbal call for help. Answer the call.

3. Know the Friends
   Who your child hangs out with is a reflection of the direction in life they are headed. Make a point to get to know the closest friends. Invite them over for sleepovers. Take them to a ballgame. You need to know the social environment of your kids.

4. One-On-One Time
   Spend quality time alone with each of your children. You might all have the same last name, but you all have completely different personalities. The “middle child syndrome” is created by being lost in the crowd of competition for attention. Get to know the unique qualities of each of your kids.

5. Spiritual Connection
   “The family that prays together stays together.”  Family recognition of God creates a very strong bond. Don’t forget to break out “Thou shalt honor your Father and Mother” whenever called for!

6. Unwavering Commitment
   They are watching every single action you make. Listening to every single word even when you think they aren’t. It is not possible to be a part-time father or husband. Commit all of yourself to your family. They are so fragile. You are the strength they look to for security and hope.

7. The Good Humor Man
   No, you do not have to wear an all-white uniform. Nor sell ice cream. However it would help to consistently have a pleasant and fun-loving spirit with your children. If you have a great sense of humor, use it often with them. If you are more of a serious type, then use a warm smile to put them at ease. Big smiles and humor lighten tension and stress.

8. The School Play
   The Honor Roll ceremony. The t-ball game.  Karate tournament. Kids’ events, no matter how small or big, are all big to them. Who do they want there the most? Mom and Dad. Sometimes life will not let you, but attend as many as you possibly can. Take your camera and give big hugs.

9. Affection
   Hug your daughter everyday or somebody else will.  Boys need big bear hugs as well.  Children need lots of love and plenty of affection. This can be difficult for some men. We are raised to be strong, tough guys. Yet, emotion cannot always be displayed verbally. There must be a physical component as well. Those big hugs you give your children will do you every bit as good as it does for them.

10. Support
    All dads have a vision of who they would like their children to be. Rarely does that vision match reality. You might have dreamed your son would be a high school football hero. Instead, he is really into guitar and has very promising skills. Leave behind projecting your dreams onto your child. Embrace their dreams. Nurture them and support them. Show your pride no matter what stirs their personal passion.

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