10 Small Changes You Can Make that Lead to Big Changes

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For decades, scientists have studied something called Chaos Theory, which in an over simplistic nutshell means that little changes end up leading to very big changes among many other things. The same applies to relationships, specifically fathering. Changing something seemingly insignificant can make a profound difference. Here’s an example: eliminate television during family meal times. You’ll be amazed how much your children will actually talk. Require participation. Nobody leaves until the parents say the meal is over. Give this a tumble and your family will be much more cohesive in a month’s time.

Pretty simple huh? Here are 10 small changes you can make that lead to big changes:

1. Start every day by serving your wife a hot drink in bed:

It sets the relationship trajectory for the day. Big results.

2. Eliminate television during family meal times:

Have some conversation starters in your pocket. Require participation. Nobody leaves till the parents say the meal is over. More family time, plus less media equals win-win.

3. Spend five one-on-one, undistracted minutes with each child, every day:

This will soon become one of your favorite activities, and it will grow. It’s a family relationship primer.

4. Keep a log of each and every dollar you spend for one month:

Simply collecting the data will begin to change your spending habits.

5. Go to each child’s room after they’re asleep, put your hand on their head, and pray for them:

Sometimes this is the only moment of the day when you can remember what’s important. Expect to shed some tears.

6. Say absolutely nothing negative to your wife for one week:

Negativity tends to be a ball that rolls in the same direction. Interrupt this one before it begins. This change will color everything else.

7. Plan and then implement one random act of kindness, targeting your wife, once a week, for the next three months:

OK, so it’s not random if you plan it. But the others will be. This one will grow and the intervention will soon go both ways.

8. Write a short sentence of encouragement and affirmation for each member of your family (wife, children), then post it in a place they can’t miss:

Some things need to be said out loud, and often: “I love you.” “You are an awesome kid.” “I’m so glad I’m your dad.” “I still get misty-eyed when I think that you chose to marry me….”

9. Remove the television from your bedroom:

This isn’t just about romance. It’s about communication. Well, communication can be romance—or at least it’s a critical prerequisite.

10. Find out and then remember a few obscure anniversaries:

First date? The day you got engaged? The day you first realized you were in love with your future wife? The day you found out your were expecting your first child? The day you purchased your first home? The possibilities are huge.

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Huddle up and ask your family tonight: What is one small change we can make as a family that could really help all of us?


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