10 Things Not to Do When Your Daughter Goes to College
Sending your child off to college can be challenge for both mom and dad. But it can be an even greater challenge for dad when he sends his daughter off to college for the first time. As you know, sometimes dads don’t respond in the best way when it comes to our baby girls. Here are 10 things you should NOT do when sending your daughter off to college.
1. Do not stalk her roommates or new friends on Facebook.
Allow her to make new friends and relationships without online spying.
2. Do not condemn her for every mistake.
Your daughter will make some mistakes. Do not condemn her; instead allow her the opportunity to learn from them.
3. Do not play the role of her alarm.
Even if she loved her bed and pillow at home, she can wake up and make it to class without you calling in the early morning.
4. Do not tell her these are the best years of your life.
College life is fun, but it is not all good all the time. The expectations you set should prepare her for the good and the bad of college life and also assure her that you’ll be there for her no matter what.
5. Do not make a habit of popping up on campus.
If you would like to visit your daughter, discuss it and make sure you both agree when you will visit. Of course emergency situations are different.
6. Do not send her money every time she asks.
A financial plan should be established in advance, and if dad (or mom) sending money is part of the plan, amounts and frequency should be pre-determined.
7. Do not tell her how happy you are that she is gone (even jokingly).
You may have plans with the extra space or time. Maybe her room will be converted into a movie room, office, library, etc. If that happens, don’t hide it, but don’t make it a focal point. Make her feel as if she is always welcome.
8. Do not always defer her to her mother when she is need of advice or a listening ear.
Sometimes your daughter needs you as much as, if not more than, she needs her mom. Yes, you may not be able to relate 100% every single time, but you can listen 100% of the time.
9. Do not draw out your goodbyes.
You will miss one another, and both of you will be nervous. Not that you want to shove her out while the car is still moving, but extra long drawn out goodbyes will be of no benefit to either of you.
10. Do not deny to yourself that you miss her.
Aside from all the things that could go wrong or right at college, you will miss having her around. Don’t be too tough to admit it. All daughters have a special, soft spot in their dad’s heart.