10 Ways Nerdy Dads Are Kewl
Face it. Being a Dad doesn’t usually bring a lot of “cool factor” with it. It’s not easy to look cutting edge driving mini-vans, pushing strollers and spending Saturday’s at Lowe’s shopping for tile. More times than not, dads just look plain nerdy. Wear that badge with honor! Let’s celebrate the faithful husband and dedicated father as the true heroes they are.
1. It Takes A Real Man
Any fool can roll with a Mercedes. Cruise a ‘69 Camaro. It takes a real man to rock a 2006 Dodge Caravan. Sleek power sliding doors. Built-in DVD pumping Sponge Bob as he tears up the road. Fold-down seats and just enough room to haul the nine foot Christmas tree. McDonald’s fries in every crevice and the remains of an old 7-11 slurpee in the back. All traces of manhood wiped clean. Dad could drive a sports car that drives the ladies wild and makes the other men want to be like him. But how Dad rolls is seeing that his family is happy, comfortable and secure.
2. The Cover of GQ
Once upon a time, Dad used to get his hair styled. Not cut. It was full and thick, and always up with the latest trend. His hair was proud like the lion that he was. Now Supercuts has replaced the young and pretty hair stylist. He treats himself by getting the shampoo along with the $10 dollar trim. His hair has thinned, but he combs it over to cover the sparseness. GQ will not be calling him for its next cover. But to his wife and family, he’s the most handsome man on the planet.
3. Making It Rain
Who’s your Daddy? That’s right. Who makes the green come raining down? Dad – that’s who. When his twelve year old daughter has grown out of every shoe she has in three months, Dad is there to the rescue. Payless baby. “Hook her up,” he tells the sales person. When his boy has lost his retainer, his cleats and needs tutoring in science, Dad pulls out his overstuffed (with receipts) wallet. Don’t forget Mama. Anniversary time? The diamond heart necklace at Zale’s will be dangling from her beautiful neck. Dad works hard to make it rain on his family every time they need him.
4. The Music Man
When he is alone in the car, classic rock pours from the speakers. Whitesnake tells him he’s going down the only road he’s ever known. He’s a drifter born to walk alone. The music makes sense to him. His daughter’s music does not. Who is Justin Beaver? “Dad, it’s Bieber, you nerd!” His son’s music says a lot of words that are screamed and sounds mostly like heavy bass. “What is wrong with kid’s today?” he wonders to himself. But when the Jonas Brothers come to town, who has tickets waiting to surprise his daughter? Dad. The music man.
5. The Clothes Make The Man
Khaki pants as his staple. $20 polo shirts of all colors. Some with stripes. Some solid. Brown or black comfortable shoes. Walk in any office in America and it will be full of dads wearing just that. The uniform of the American Dad. Casual weekends? His choice would be cargo shorts, khaki of course, a well worn tee that says something he thinks is cool, and brown sandals. White legs, of course, if he is white because his wife makes him wear SPF-50 at all times. Does he ever complain? Probably. But he wears his clothes with pride anyway.
6. The Guard Dog
His daughter is 16. Braces created a beautiful smile. She gets her good looks from her Mom. She is naturally fit and all the boys notice – enough to put Dad in the loony bin. But he does not shrink from his fatherly duty. Every boy in the tri-county area is well aware to treat his daughter with respect. The consequences of not doing so are frightening (almost to legendary status). A pit bull could not be a more ferocious guard dog. His daughter is mortified. But secretly she feels loved and safe. Dad is on the job 24-7 -365.
7. Mr. Green Jeans
Dad looks out his window and does not see beautiful landscape. He sees a battlefield. A war zone where a variety of enemies await the warrior. Weeds, both dollar and dandelion and bugs, bees and, worst of all, fire ants. Emerging from the garage on his mighty stallion, John Deere, he feels a strong rush of adrenaline. He lowers his hat, straightens his shades and puts his foot on the peddle. The grass, weeds and insects are no match for his 3 mile-per-hour charge. His children think he’s silly and, quite possibly, insane. For Dad though, his yard should match the beauty of his family. When they toss the football outside, have picnics or backyard bbq’s, they will be proud to call this ¼ acre slab of land their kingdom. So he marches forward into battle. Wearing SPF-50 of course.
8. The Tour Guide
He plans for six months. Painstakingly pouring over pages of travel data on the Internet. The family vacation has to be perfect. Memories must be created that will last far beyond his lifetime. When the boss isn’t looking, he is making online reservations. Late at night when he should be in bed, he’s covering his bases making sure nothing was missed. His bonus was laid aside solely for the trip. The day finally comes and his family hits the road. The resulting days are a blur of missed road signs, backseat fighting, an incident at the truck stop nobody shall ever speak of again, and barely controlled chaos. When he pulls back in the driveway, he whispers to himself “There sure is no place like home.” Mission accomplished Dad.
9. If It Had A Mother, He Will Grill It
He is a chef, not a cook. He is a grill master, not a burger flipper. Too many nights watching the Food Network have given him an abundance of confidence. His grill is a matter of neighborhood bragging rights. His tools are stainless and pristine. His recipes secret and to be guarded. Steaks, ribs, chicken and pork. Makes no difference to him. He has mastered them all. “Bring me a challenge,” he says with cocky assurance. That night there will be a dinner party for eight. He steps up to the plate and knocks it out of the park. Perfect quail, gently smoked over crisp cherry wood he purchased online. Garnished so beautifully you would have thought Emeril had done it himself. His wife glows as her guests shower her with praise. Dad smiles, knowing he just won himself a large pile of brownie points.
Dad is all the things above and so much more. He’s truly a superhero. If capes were in style, his wife would surely buy him one. His arms have no definition and his belly pooches. He has too much hair in strange places and not enough where he should. He’s not hip and he doesn’t like change. He’s exactly what every woman dreams of when she is a girl planning her marriage. A man who is faithful and loving. A father who is dedicated and kind. A provider and a friend. On his white tee he wears to bed every night, resides a tiny “s” written in crayon by his 4 year old son. Superman indeed.