Physical touch and other displays of love and affection between spouses speak volumes to small watching eyes. Little eyes that are paying close attention and taking down mental notes for themselves someday. Hugs, kisses, holding hands, and being touchy-feely are all wonderful things for parents to do to love each other in front of their children. Why, you ask?
Here are 5 reasons why parents should flirt in front of their kids.
1. It gives them a sense of security.
A child feels loved by seeing Mom and Dad love each other.Dad loving Mom and Mom loving Dad in a committed relationship sends a clear message to children. A message that says we are in this together. We are in love. We are a team. We’re not going anywhere. A child feels loved by seeing Mom and Dad love each other. And one of the greatest ways they’re going to see our love is through our physical expressions of it.
2. It gives them a positive view of marital relationships.
There are more than enough negative views of relationships our kids are regularly exposed to in our culture today. The home has the ability to be the place where our children see relationships done right. This also provides parents with an ongoing opportunity to teach their children what is right and wrong from a faith perspective both before and after marriage.
3. It debunks the culture’s lies.
If our children rarely, if ever, see Mom and Dad getting frisky through hugging, kissing, etc., they are left to inadvertently believe what Hollywood and their friends are already telling them—that messing around before marriage is fun and life after marriage isn’t. Let me state the obvious: Disney and Hollywood show more kissing and physical affection between teenagers and unmarried people than they do between married spouses, while most married spouses are portrayed as hardly being able to stand each other. This is a huge problem, as parents, we need to both protect our children from and prove to them otherwise—that being married is fun and saving yourself completely for marriage is worth it.
4. It promotes healthy sexuality.
I’ve found that parents who are physically affectionate with each other often have a tendency to be more physically affectionate towards their children as well. Kids need lots of physical affection from Mom and Dad. And by meeting that need, we are protecting them from a multitude of future dangers that can arise if that need goes unmet, including kids seeking to fill that void by finding affection in all the wrong places.
5. It’s a lot of fun.
Flirting in front of your kids makes both your marriage and family life more enjoyable. While your kids will tell you how gross it is, they actually love to see Mom and Dad flirting with each other for all of the above reasons, whether they realize it or not. Because deep inside of every child is a longing to see love and to be loved. To be surrounded by parents who love each other and to experience being surrounded by that same love themselves.
Huddle Up Question
Huddle up and ask your kids, “How does it make you feel when you see Mom and me love each other?”