It’s okay to have concerns about becoming a foster parent. If you read that too quickly, take a deep breath and be affirmed. It’s ok to have concerns about becoming a foster parent. If you ask any seasoned foster parent trainer or recruiter what worries them the most about people considering becoming foster parents, they would say the people that don’t have any concerns worries them most! So there, you are normal, it’s okay to have some concerns. Now, let’s talk about what some of the most common concerns people have as they consider becoming a foster parent.
1. It will be difficult.
Yes, it will be difficult. What if this was a reason to continue moving forward instead of stepping back though? Haven’t the other difficult times in our lives actually grown us as people? Sure, we may not look forward to a difficult time, yet when we come through the other side most would say they are better people because of it. Knowing it will be difficult should push us to be further trained, educated, and equipped, not push us away.
2. My biological children may be affected.
They will be, and a vast majority of foster parents with biological children would say it is to their benefit! Your children will witness and practice firsthand a sacrificial love. They will meet children not like them, and not just meet them, but come to know and love them despite their differences. Start talking with your children now; if they are able to articulate what they are thinking and feeling you will probably find that they are excited at the opportunity to be a foster brother or sister!
3. I will get too attached.
You can’t actually become ‘too’ attached, and even if you could isn’t that worth the sacrifice to provide the love some of the most vulnerable children in our community need? Your ability to become so attached is exactly why you should continue in the process! It is in attaching that the children placed in your home are able to begin to trust again and know they are loved.
4. I’m not ‘good’ at it.
Isn’t this a fear of every parent? There are not enough blogs or books to read that would be able to fully prepare us to become good biological parents. Fostering is no different. It’s actually in the not being ‘good’ enough that WE grow through the fostering process. Fostering doesn’t end up being 100% about the children, you will be amazed at how much you learn and grow as a person. Embrace not being ‘good’ enough and get ready to grow!
5. It’s scary.
Yes, it is, and once again if you had zero concerns that would be what is scary. A majority of foster parents cite their faith as the primary reason for becoming a foster parent. Chances are, it’s because of your faith that you are even reading this right now. Faith is what you will continue to need, so embrace that now in these first steps. Then face the scariness and continue to step forward in faithfulness. The process of this faith journey is always worth it.
Having concerns is normal and healthy. Continue in the process and talk to someone in your state who can give you the answers you need by calling 1-844-4FL-KIDS (FLORIDA), 1-833-4IN-KIDS (INDIANA), 1-888-282-3555 (SOUTH CAROLINA).
Huddle Up Question
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What do you know about foster care?”