In 2015, a website that promoted extramarital affairs—Ashley Madison—was hacked. The hackers put the site’s users’ data online for friends, family, and strangers to uncover. The breach of trust destroyed marriages and broke one of the commandments: Thou shall not commit adultery, the physical act of cheating, which takes a lot to move forward with.
Not all Ashley Madison users slept with another person. Many men said they merely entertained the idea. But have you ever thought about the fact that there are several ways to cheat on your wife that don’t involve sex? Here are 3 ways you might be cheating on your wife without realizing it.
You cheat on her with your time.
Never give the time that belongs to God or your wife away to others or other endeavors.Your time is a precious commodity. You only get 24 hours in a day, and your wife, friends, siblings, children, work, and hobbies all compete for them. Your prime time is reserved for God and your wife. Never give the time that belongs to God or your wife away to others or other endeavors. Adulterous thoughts come when you start feeling disconnected from these two VIPs. If you begin to feel this disconnection, immediately build in more prayer time and more one on one time with your wife. A simple realignment of your time is a game-changer.
You cheat on her with inappropriate friendships.
The Greeks held friendships in the highest esteem and called friendship philia. This form of love was seen as even higher than eros, romantic love. If your wife is not your best friend, you may run into some danger here. There are inappropriate friendships when married. If your defenses are down, one vulnerable moment with a female colleague at a work conference can cloud your judgment. Make your wife your best friend and tell her everything. That’s what marriage is anyway—healthy communication with a best friend.
You cheat on her with your energy.
Even more valuable than your time is your energy. Who gets to see your best self? Is it your teammates on the field? The executives around that table at work? Or is it the person with whom you are spending the rest of your life? Energy is physical, mental, and even sexual. Masturbation, pornography, or merely perusing sites like Ashley Madison seem harmless, but they rob your wife of your sexual energy. That energy keeps the flame of eros alive and reaffirms the bonds of philia within your marriage.
Sound off: What are examples of other inappropriate friendships when married?
Huddle up with your wife and tell her about your day.