Do Your Priorities Match Your Actual Real Life?

My men’s small group was deep in discussion about priorities and how we make key decisions. I jumped in with the following challenge: “List the five things you consider most important in life. I’m talking about things like family, faith, and staying healthy.” We talked about what came up, especially the items that kept repeating.

Then I asked them to list the reality that takes up the majority of their time (other than sleep). Answers included things like work, television, chores, and chauffeuring the kids. We talked about the frustration that comes with our daily lives not matching our priorities. We enjoyed a great discussion about how we might get the lists lined up. Make your own list, and see if yours lines up. Here are our lists and the steps to take in order to live out your priorities in real life daily.

Our Five Top-rating Priorities (in no particular order):

1. Family
2. God
3. Health
4. Freedom
5. Helping others (family, church, community)

The Five Areas of Time Commitment (by hours invested):

1. Working
2. Driving
3. Watching TV
4. Dealing with problems/issues
5. Cooking and cleaning

Here are 4 steps to making your priorities match your daily life:

1. Conversation

First, we must have the conversation. The men in my group have found that simply talking about the tension between our priorities and the reality we live tends to correlate with positive change. We also found that including our trusted friends in the conversation really helps too. In other words, honest awareness can be half the solution. Life is short, so don’t waste any time.

2. Action Plan

Then, we discovered that action plans are effective. When we develop short and long term plans—intentionally working toward specific goals, moving forward incrementally, paying attention to even small changes, and celebrating success along the way—then success seems more reachable.

3. Support System

Most importantly, we need mutual support. We must live in a supportive community and not be afraid to ask one another for help. We need one another. Guys need other solid guys for mutual encouragement, and men tend to respond well to positive peer pressure. When we surround ourselves with other families who share the same commitment to pay more attention to what really matters, change becomes more attainable.

4. Commitment

It helps when we think about making the commitment to positive lifestyle transitions as a family. One married man, for example, asked his wife to help him follow through on spending more time with the children. Together, he and his spouse worked out a plan. Success requires humility, commitment, community, and accountability. For other guys, recruiting a couple men from church, work, or the gym who’ll hold you accountable helps you see your commitment through.

Sound off: How do you match your priorities with what you do day to day?