The people your kids spend time with will have a big influence on them. It’s important to teach them what to look for. These are principals I think are essential. Choose your friends wisely. Choose them for the sake of friendship. It seems like such an obvious statement, but my parents used to say it to us all the time. Don’t choose friends because they are popular, or because they are good-looking, or because they are rich or athletic. Choose your friends wisely because you enjoy them and because they are good people.
During my first season with the Bucs, things started to turn around for us, and we entered the 1997 season with high hopes. In the opening game, at a critical moment when we were trying to protect a slim lead, Hardy Nickerson, our defensive captain and a team leader, received an unsportsmanlike-conduct penalty for getting into an altercation with a 49ers player after the play had ended. I was livid. We spent a lot of time trying to help our young players understand that they couldn’t get foolish penalties and expect to win big games, so I brought Hardy to the sidelines and asked him what happened.
Don’t relish conflict, but don’t fear it. Handling conflict is one of the most misunderstood parts of our existence. It is often unpleasant; many people try to avoid it. Others seem to thrive on the stress of it. I think some even use it to overpower others. Maybe that’s why they look for opportunities to bully people.
However, conflict is best seen as an opportunity to understand our differences, since that’s when conflict usually arises: when we see something different. I handle conflict in the following 3 ways.
Over my years of coaching, I thoroughly enjoyed working with players who worked hard and did everything I asked of them. It was fun to work with coaches and staff who were on board with what I said and did. That was the easy part. But the secret of getting ahead in life is learning how to deal with people who are difficult.
When you run across people like that, what do you do?
The one thing that can rip apart a championship team more than anything is dissension in the locker room. It doesn’t matter how much talent you have, if you you are not together you are not going to win. I always tried to head it off before it even started and hit it head on when it did. This is how I would do that and how I take the same approach in resolving family conflict.
It’s never easy losing a family member or close friend. Recently I lost two friends, Malcolm Glazer and Truett Cathy. Here are my thoughts on their lives and the legacy they left behind.
Integrity is what you do when no one is watching; it’s doing the right thing all the time, even when it may work to your disadvantage. Integrity is keeping your word. Integrity is that internal compass and rudder that directs you to where you know you should go when everything around you is pulling […]
I don’t know if you celebrate Valentine’s Day or not. Lauren and I try to do something special, like go to dinner, and I always wear a red dress shirt, which most people don’t seem to expect from me. While we enjoy it, many people consider this a day specifically created for florists, jewelers, and […]
The fatherhood movie, Courageous, releases today. Here’s my take on why this movie is so impactful. I encourage you to spend some time with your family by going to see Courageous this weekend.
Coach Ed Thomas is one of my heroes. He taught his players the game of life and made a lasting impression on his players. The book, The Sacred Acre, tells his story and is a must read for anyone involved in coaching and influencing young people. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTd-xc0zFcU [/youtube]