As she passed my groceries over the scanner, I looked at the total, realizing I’d spent half my month’s food budget on this first trip. Something needed to change. The next week, I tried to buy the generic version of everything I needed. This brought the bill down noticeably but taught me another life lesson—there are times the lower price comes as the result of a major compromise. Sometimes, the generic version just doesn’t measure up to the real thing. I can deal with that for a lot of things, but if it’s ketchup, mac ‘n cheese, or toilet paper, I’m buying the brand name version.
The same principle applies to being a dad. You must choose where to hold the line. There are moments when you can let something go and other times when expecting the best from your child is necessary. Here are 5 moments a dad shouldn’t let his kids compromise.
1. When Manners Seem Old-Fashioned
Growing up, the magic words were always “please” and “thank you.” I was expected to use these words when dealing with my parents as well as teachers, coaches, servers in a restaurant, and any other stranger I might interact with. We need to teach our kids to do the same: whenever they interact with others, we should always be able to count on them being polite and respectful no matter who they might be talking to.
2. When It Would Be Easy to Lie
In the newest Despicable Me movie, Gru and his family are forced into witness protection and must live for a time under assumed names. The youngest girl, Agnes, is unwilling to lie about her name—a conviction that later gets her in trouble at a karate lesson. While this is played up for laughs in the movie, Agnes’ principled approach to telling the truth is one we should want our kids to aim for: Always be honest, even and especially if the truth is hard to take.
3. When They’re Doing Hard Things
Sometimes it feels like it’s human nature that when we don’t want to do something, we give it half an effort while the things we love get our full effort. You’ll often see this in a kid who doesn’t want to do his or her chores. One of the most challenging but important things to teach our kids is that whatever they are doing deserves their best work. It shouldn’t matter if it’s math homework, washing the dishes, or playing in the championship game: expecting the best from your child means teaching him or her to give total effort.
4. When They’re Dating
When finances are tight, the cheaper item starts to look mighty tempting, even if it’s one of those non-negotiables. The same thing can happen with teenagers and dating. When our kids feel like everyone else is dating someone, but they aren’t, they might be tempted to go out with someone they don’t really like or want to date. This is far more serious than ketchup or toilet paper. We need them to understand that having no boyfriend or girlfriend is far better than having a bad boyfriend or girlfriend.
5. When They’re Wrong
The packaging on a Batman costume cautions that the included cape “does not actually enable user to fly!” This warning is there because at some point, someone tried to fly in a Batman costume, hurt himself, and likely sued the company and got a settlement. Kids who get caught doing wrong often act the same way, projecting the blame for their decisions onto others. Whether it’s small things or big things, our kids need to know the importance of admitting and apologizing for their failures and living with the consequences that often come in those moments.
Sound off: What are other moments when expecting the best from your child is necessary?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What foods taste best when we buy brand-name, and which ones don’t matter?”