John looked at his father, his eyes pleading with his dad to let him go. He had just been invited to go on a great mission, but his father said no. His dad had watched his son make things a mess over and over again. He didn’t think John should go, despite his being invited by a cutting-edge rabbi. That’s when John said to his dad, “[The rabbi] is helping people, and I want to be a part of that. This is my chance to show up.” In other words, finding purpose felt possible—this was his chance to have a life of meaning.
John is the Apostle John. The rabbi is Jesus, and the scene is from the new animated movie Light of the World. Just like the character John in the movie, our kids want their lives to have power and impact. One of the greatest gifts we can give them is to help them get there. Here are 5 ways to help our kids find their purpose.
1. Help them find their talents.
Each of us is born with natural abilities. This is a great place to start finding purpose. Help your kids figure out what theirs are. Adolescence is a confusing time, and our kids can feel lost. They don’t know who they are or what to do with their lives, but everyone wants to have a meaningful life. When you see them excel at something, point it out. At the same time, it’s good to remember that sometimes talents reveal themselves over time. Encourage their curiosity to try out a lot of things. Remind them not to be discouraged if something isn’t easy right away. After all, our abilities need to be discovered, improved upon, and sharpened.
2. Let them explore their passions.
In the movie Light of the World, John has a passion for helping people. Perhaps your child has a passion for cars, fixing things, dance, feeding the homeless, figuring out how things work, human behavior, history, or sports. Look into your kids’ eyes as they talk about different subjects. When they start to light up or their eyes widen as they talk about a particular endeavor, get excited with them. Encourage them to pursue it further.
3. Let them work with you.
Your kids have similar DNA to yours. They may have similar talents or interests that can help them in finding purpose. If you are doing a chore around the house, let them help you. The next time you volunteer with a charity, bring your kids along. Perhaps even bring them to work so they can shadow you and see what you do. It may slow down your effectiveness, but it will accelerate their discovery of their interests and passions.
4. Show your support.
In Light of the World, John is discouraged and feels like nothing he ever does helps anyone. His mom encourages him by using a fishing metaphor. The job of a fisherman is to cast the net, but the results are up to God. In other words, we need to focus on making our best efforts with the resources and talents we’ve been given and not worry so much about what happens after that. She told him he was doing the right things, and he regained his enthusiasm for it. When you see your kids pursuing their passions and purposes, show your support. It goes a long way in keeping their tanks full to continue their pursuits.
5. Believe in them.
Jim Valvano coached NC State basketball to a national championship. He said his father gave him the greatest gift. “He believed in me,” Valvano said. Believing in our kids gives them the confidence to try and fail, and then to try again. Our belief propels them toward their purpose. Make sure your kids know you believe in them, especially when they face disappointment, failure, and confusion. In these moments, they may need to rely on your faith more than their own.
Sound off: What are some other ways we can help our kids with finding purpose?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What are some things you do well naturally?”