The Love/Hate List of a Single Dad

I know many of the joys and hurts of being a single dad. I was one for nine years. It’s never easy, but a dad’s love for and dedication to his children make it worth the effort.

I once read a blog post that featured the “love/hate list” of a single mom. That inspired me to reach out to some single fathers I know to ask what they love and hate about their role. Here are real answers from single dads about what they love and hate (or really dislike) about being a single parent.

Hate (or Really Dislike)

I hated never having anyone I could relate to. All my friends were married or in serious relationships. I had to be the on-call parent, 24 hours a day, never really having time for myself. I hated all the roles placed on me just because I’m a man, a father, and because I’m responsible. I struggled with all the questions and random comments people would make: “Why aren’t you married?” “Your son needs a mother.” I hated always covering for the parent who never showed up. I never found a partner with whom to model what a healthy relationship looks like. Many nights, I held my son while he cried himself to sleep because he missed his mom.

I really dislike being without the kids on half the holidays and not seeing them as often as I want. Also, I’m rarely able to give both of my kids one-on-one time.

When friends and family are not around to share time, it can feel overwhelming. It feels like I have to put all my energy into just being with my daughter. It’s difficult to focus on anything else you might want to get done during the day.

I hate not seeing my daughter every day and not being able to pick up the phone and call her anytime I want. I support her relationship with her mom, but I don’t think it’s reciprocated. Holidays or weekends with no significant other are hard, especially when I don’t have my daughter on those days. I really don’t enjoy trying to co-parent through texts only. And I really hate saying goodbye after a concert or game—as she goes one way and I go the other.

Don’t allow temporary circumstances to prevent you from forever investments. Try to find the good, along with hope, in every opportunity.

Love

I loved spending time with my son and watching him grow. We were able to make a lot of memories. I didn’t have to have family court decide what kind of time I would be allowed to spend with him. We laughed a lot. My son reports that I did a great job as a young father. I love how being a single father forced me to grow up and align my priorities around the well-being of our family. 

I love bonding while playing board games, biking, and ice skating. It’s also fun visiting special restaurants that the kids and I enjoy and don’t always get to experience.

What I love about being a single dad is that I can have one-on-one time with my daughter. When I have her, I can concentrate on being with her and making good memories.

Single or not, being a dad is one of the greatest gifts EVER! I know a large part of how my daughter will view herself as an adult comes from my relationship with her now. I still get to do all the dad things: play with her, take her to school, attend concerts, and watch games. I even got to paint her room. On the weekends I have her, I also take my daughter to church. 

Time with our children is a blessing we can’t take for granted. Use it to build memories with your kids and to show them how much you love them and love being with them.

Sound off: What do you love and what do you hate (or really dislike) about being a single dad?