Guilty as charged. My two daughters have me completely wrapped around their fingers. I knew this the first moments I held them in my arms in the hospital. The memory is still vivid of holding my firstborn and promising her that I will never let her down. When my second came around, she was in ICU for her first 3 days on earth. The determination I felt to get her past that moment and into my safety has never waned. When it comes to my daughters, I am a total pushover.
We are defining pushover to mean that our kids are angling for something they want, and we (dad) allow them the victory. They own our loyalty. Not towards negative results and unhealthy activities that kids face, as to those we stand firmly against. But to our kids knowing with full confidence that when they need Daddy – We are there without fail. Here are 4 moments when it’s totally alright for Dad to be a pushover.
Genuine Time Spent Together
Whatever is being asked of you, such as a visit to an amusement park, a camping trip, or even just taking them to the playground, the first thing we should consider is – Will it allow for genuine quality time spent with my children? If the answer is yes, then try to make it happen. All the things that get in the way like finances, work, and busyness, will have their say, but in some form or fashion, don’t lose the opportunity. Those are the times when lasting bonds and deep relationships blossom.
Creating Lifetime Memories
It’s the little things that separate the good from the great. Big things like a trip to Disney will, of course, become lifetime memories. However, it’s the smaller moments kids truly cherish in their hearts. One of my favorite memories of my dad was him taking me to a rock concert that I badly wanted to see at 12 years old. I was too young to go alone, and he hated with a passion the music, but he chose me over him and we went. His loving gesture is what I keep in my heart. Not the concert. By the way, the band was – Kiss. Awesome show.
When They’re Hurting
It is an inevitable fact of life that hurt and pain is going to come. In these moments with our children, the best thing Dad can be is a pushover. Our instinct is to lecture, but that’s not what they will be seeking. They want a safe landing spot. Hold back that instinct, for there will be plenty of time later to sort out what went wrong and how to correct the mistakes. At the moment they are hurting? Dad should be the face they know with certainty is the one on their side. The best kind of pushover.
In some instances, we just have to give our kids what they are pushing for and let natural consequences be their teacher. We have life experience in our parent tool belt. Our kids don’t understand why we keep saying no to what they want, but we are aware they will likely lead to negative consequences. A simple example of this is a 5-year-old asking – “Dad, why can’t I eat my cereal in front of the tv?” We know the odds of the bowl spilling all over the floor are at about 95%. In some instances, we just have to give our kids what they are pushing for and let natural consequences be their teacher. After he spills the bowl, has to clean up the mess, and feels your disappointment, he will have learned what words can’t teach.
What are some of the ways you’ve been a pushover as a Dad?
Huddle Up Question
Huddle up with the kids tonight and ask them what are their favorite memories of family.