I recently saw this statement on a billboard: “When we can’t change our situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” All of us have things we wish we could change: circumstances, relationships, past hurts.
But the uncomfortable truth is that there are some things in life that may never change, no matter how much we wish they would. Whatever it is in your life, here are 3 ways to deal with things we can never change.
1. Adjust your course.
I love the old saying, “You can’t control the wind, but you can adjust your sails.” When I find myself in a situation that I wish was different, I won’t ask “Why?” Instead, I’ll ask, “What?” or “How?” What can I learn from this? Or how can I adjust the course in my attitude or approach to better deal with this situation or person?
2. Change yourself.Change is hard, but not changing is sometimes much harder.
Pain and disappointment inevitably make you different. But it can change you for better or for worse. Your choice. I’ve seen people who seemingly have the smoothest lives yet still find reasons to complain and misplace their focus. But I’ve seen others whose lives have dealt them very hard hands, who still smile and intentionally choose joy. Dealing with disappointment and pain is all about perspective. When you can’t change your situation, choose to change yourself. This might mean learning to love that person unconditionally or allowing past or painful lessons to shape future decisions. Change is hard, but not changing is sometimes much harder.
3. Stay positive.
Negative circumstances have the potential to turn us into negative people. But how encouraging it is to be around someone who sees a negative circumstance through a positive lens. Be that person. Make the world a better place by learning from others’ mistakes so you don’t repeat them. And if there’s something negative in your own family’s past or present, be the one to change it in your family’s future.
Sound off: How could you better deal with people or your circumstances?
Huddle Up Question
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What is something about our family that you wish you could change?”