finding favor

10 Ways to Score Big Points with Your Wife

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It was Mother’s Day and I wanted to do something special for my wife. I planned to get up early and make her breakfast in bed from recipes from her favorite cookbook. This was a labor of love for me because cooking and getting up early are two things I don’t much enjoy. The night before I went shopping and managed to get all of the groceries into the house without her knowing. Everything was going according to plan. I didn’t anticipate how quiet our house was at 6 a.m. or how noise reverberated through the house from the kitchen. I had barely gotten started when my 4-year-old son woke everyone up by yelling, “Who’s making all of that noise in the kitchen?!” My wife came stumbling out, smiled and told me to come back to bed. When she saw my disappointed face she said, “Don’t worry, you still get the points.”

Most of the time, when it comes to our wives, it is the thoughtfulness more than the execution that wins their hearts. It’s the small and subtle nuances that communicate how much they are loved. If you are working at finding favor with your wife try these 10 ways.

1. Finish “That Project”

Every household has things that get put off to another day. Over time, this can cause friction in a marriage. Dedicate a day to clean up all those loose ends and you will be her hero.

2. Take the Kids for a “Daddy’s Day”

Give her some rest. Take the children early on a Saturday morning on an adventure. It’ll be great fun for you and a tremendous load off your wife’s shoulders (if only for a few hours).

3. Clean the House

In the same vein as making dinner, take it upon yourself to straighten up around the house. Do this without having to be asked. Perhaps even ask her what you could clean around the house that would help her the most.

4. Plan a Family Vacation

Come to her with a list of ideas to do on a vacation. Think through how they facilitate good time together and meets the desires of each family member. She’ll appreciate the initiative.

5. Make Dinner for the Family

If your wife is the one who normally prepares dinner, tell her to sit down and relax one or two nights a week while you take over. Let your wife see you in the kitchen preparing a meal—even if it’s as simple as boiling some pasta. Remember when it comes to our wives, it’s not the execution that matters, it’s the effort. But good execution helps.

6. Say “Thank You”

Marriages tend to go on cruise control. Think of the many things your spouse does that gives your family a better life. A sincere “thank you” will fill a heart in need of acknowledgment.

A sincere “thank you” will fill a heart in need of acknowledgment. Click To Tweet

7. The “Random” Anniversary

Think of something in the past that is special to your marriage. The first time you met, the day of your first kiss, or when you got engaged. It could be anything. Then surprise your spouse by celebrating that day.

8. Make a Gift

Using your time and energy to create something special, even if small, is a special way to show your wife how important she is to you. Major talent not required. She will cherish it.

9. Something Fun for the Whole Family

Plan a night for the whole family to have fun together. Have a game or movie night. Go on a photo scavenger hunt, miniature golf, or bowling. Taking the planning off of her shoulders will be a big winner.

10. Remember What Your Mama Taught You

In the name of comfort and relaxation, men can forget to use manners and common courtesy. For example, dishes left behind or clothes thrown on the floor. There are many ways a man can be annoying to those who live with him. Make an effort to remember your Mom’s voice still ringing in your head and clean up your act. If the world deserves the best of who you are, certainly your family deserves even more!

Sound Off

What things have you done that your wife really loves?

  • Paul_Sp

    This probably is a great list for some.
    A dear friend of mine who is married, though, said these would do almost nothing to score points with her.

    Her husband does these things pretty well, but is all about “the family”, not very interested in just her. It’s either family time/busyness or chores/projects, or he wants to watch TV or escape to his den. Doesn’t want just close time with her.

  • I mentor men… Try this… when you get home from work, for 5 minutes, stand with her within 5 feet of her. Just listen… no computer time, no reading, no kids time, just listen. Do this for a month. She may catch on, but just keep doing it. Notice what happens. #helpingmenwin #realmomentum

    • BJ_Foster

      Great tip! Thank you.

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