Have you ever noticed a father’s reaction to his child’s birth in the movies? He often sheds tears of joy. His face shows all his hopes and dreams coming true. In every depiction, there is almost always an instant connection between father and child. That may be a realistic response for some, but it is also common for fathers to feel no connection at all. They may feel guilty as they hold their new baby and think, “Who is this stranger?” Sometimes the connection doesn’t come until we start changing babies’ diapers, holding them, comforting them, or making them laugh. In other words, it doesn’t come until there is an investment.
Invest with end goals in mind.Invest with end goals in mind. The word investment is normally associated with money. When we invest money into a retirement account, we have an end goal. We envision ourselves sitting on a beach or traveling. We invest in our children every day. We invest thought, time, physical energy, and resources. The question is, do we have an end goal in mind? Do we have a family vision statement? Here are 4 questions to answer when creating a family vision statement.
1. What character qualities do we want to instill in our children?
You want to start here because everything that follows will be set up to cultivate these qualities. Examples: selflessness, adventure, generosity, integrity, kindness, initiative, courage.
2. What are some practical applications and activities we can do as a family to help cultivate the vision?
If the vision for your family is to have a heart for those less fortunate, then find charitable organizations and participate with them as a family. Feed the homeless, volunteer at the Special Olympics, be a foster home.
3. How do we plan on communicating the vision to our kids? What are we going to say?
Plan how you are going to explain things to your kids. Think through the wording and possible illustrations to help explain your family vision. Be thinking, “This is what we’re about and this is why.”
4. What are rules we can set up to guide the family vision? Focus on what your family “should do” not on what you “shouldn’t do.”
Examples:
- Our family makes guests in our home feel welcome by greeting them warmly.
- Our family will be initiators of friendship by always being the first to say hello.
- Our family will be courageous by trying new things with an enthusiastic attitude.
Sound off: Do you have a family vision statement? What is it?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What are some things you want our family to be about?”