How do your children know you love them? Well, if you want an honest answer, all you have to do is ask them. That’s what I did with my kids a few years ago. I first asked Megan… “Megan, how do you know I love you?” “Because you tickle me,” she said. So I said, “what if my hands were tied behind my back and I couldn’t tickle you, then how would you know that I love you?” She said, “because you spend time with me.” Then I asked Emily, “Emily, how do you know that I love you?” “Because you say so.” “Well what if my lips were zipped together and I couldn’t say so, then how would you know that I love you?” “Because you play with me.” My son, Marky was next… “Marky, how do you know I love you?” He looked at me, shrugged his shoulders and said, “I don’t know.”Do your kids know that you love them? Do you show it with your actions…by being affectionate with them?
Here are a few things you can do to show affection. Wink at your daughter across the dinner table. Hold her hand. Give big hugs to your son. Develop a bedtime tuck in routine. With Emily, I say “I love you the most.” She says, I love you more.” I say, “no, Iove you more.” She says, “I love you more than the world,” then I say, “I love you more than the Universe.” No matter what your routine is…
Be playful and affectionate with your children. It will go a long way.
For many people, it’s all about the actual wedding day. But marriage isn’t a single life event. It’s an eventful life that unfolds a day at a time – a series of circumstances and seasons: for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. Knowing that you and your spouse can rely on one another for love and support through it all – the good and the bad – is what makes a marriage strong. Getting married… that’s easy. Staying married… now that’s an achievement – and it happens one day at a time. So, what does marriage mean to you?
Robert Frost once said “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.” In workplaces today, we are not often encouraged to love and serve other people…most of us take the highway, the wide road, that everyone else is on…the highway that serves…well, me. But as leaders, we should be on the road less traveled, the narrow road…the road of self-sacrifice and service of others.
I’m surrounded by orange groves here in Lake Placid FL today. Here’s a picture in the groves. As you can tell, you can’t get the big picture view of what’s happening with your crops when your in the middle of it. You spend most of your time fertilizing, inspecting fruit, and ensuring there is no pest infestation. Most days I’m working in the groves at Family First…trimming branches so that we’ll be even more fruitful and inspecting fruit to ensure we’re producing resources that serve the soul.
Sometimes its also important to be able to look at the health of your entire grove. The picture at the right is the bigger view of the grove I was in. Right now, I’m working on Family First…taking a mental helicopter ride so that I can make sure I see the big picture of what we are doing and the entire landscape of our organization.
By the way, when you’re working “on” your organization, it’s good to be alone. But when you’re working in your organization, it’s critical to have a trusted comrade with you. Below is a picture of my trusted comrade in the groves. His name is Willy and he was born in the U.S.A in 1949! At Family First, I have trusted comrades working with me as well. They allow me to take mental helicopter rides like this every once in a while. For that, I am grateful.
What makes a leader exceptional? Their vision for the future of the tribe they’re leading. Author Pat Morley broke down the word ‘Visionaries’ and how it applies to great leaders. I want to share it with you today…
Vision — More than anything else, great leaders are propelled by great dreams. They’re pulled along by the grip of destiny.
Innovation — Great leaders give the world “ideas” that change the existing order. They exude creativity and imagination.
Sacrifice — Great leaders deny themselves for a greater good. They’re so committed to they’re cause that they are willing to risk rejection.
Integrity — At their core great leaders have unwavering character. A handshake still means everything to them.
Optimism — Great leaders posses a passion that touches that noble impulse in each of us. They inspire us to want to be part of something bigger than ourselves.
Never Give Up — Great leaders display unwavering belief in their mission. Against all odds they show tenacity, perseverance and faithfulness to their call.
Ability — Great leaders posses special abilities. They are men of skill – whether inventor, philosopher, theoogin, scientist, artist, writer, poet, or preacher.
Relate to Others — Great leaders have empathy and love for people. Their people skills include compassion and listening.
Improbability — Great leaders never think they are. They are marked by profound humility. The world would not pick them.
Excellence — Great leaders demand excellence from themselves, which spurs us to be like them.
Servant to Others — Great leaders are first servant leaders. Great Christian leaders do what they do to bring glory to God.
Validating our children is so important. A wonderful way to do this is giving them a blessing ceremony. It’s almost like a coming of age or a right of passage celebration. Recently, a friend of mine held a blessing ceremony for his son…
Herb Kelleher, former CEO of Southwest Airlines said, I would far rather have a business led by love than by fear.” So if you include yourself among those who find ‘love’ a hard word to link with ‘leadership’, then remember this: Herb Kelleher’s Southwest Airlines, the company he declared from the start to be ‘led by love’, whose headquarters is called ‘Love Airfield’ and whose stock market listing is ‘Luv’ is the most profitable airline in US commercial aviation history.
I’ve said it before, but it still rings so true: Our capacity to love will always determine our capacity to lead.
Legendary NFL Coach Vince Lombardi said, “Teamwork is what the Green Bay Packers were all about. They didn’t do it for individual glory. They did it because they loved one another.”
Vince Lombardi’s team loved each other because Vince Lombardi loved them, he modeled what he expected of others.
Do you want your team members to genuinely care about each other and do whatever it takes to succeed?
Then let them sense your genuine love for them as individual men and women…then they in turn will relate to each other that way….then stand back and watch that team excel!
It’s always a great experience being with our friends from Chick-fil-A. Right now, I’m at their national conference in Washington D.C. Andy Stanley just spoke on leadership. Here are a few quotes on leadership from Andy that I’d like to share to you:
“The less you do the more you’ll accomplish.”
“The less you do, the more you’ll enable others to accomplish.”
“Only do what only you can do.”
“Great leadership is about getting things done through other people who get things done through other people.”
As you can see, Andy’s overall message was for you, leaders to focus exclusively on your strengths, your core competencies, what only you can do…delegate every other thing and every other decision to someone else on your team. Two caveats: 1. If you are a start up or developing organization, you may not be able to do this initially. 2. These principles apply in a business setting, not at home!
Legendary NFL Coach Vince Lombardi said, “Teamwork is what the Green Bay Packers were all about. They didn’t do it for individual glory. They did it because they loved one another.”
