know your wife

Going Back to School to Study Your Wife

I was the absolute worst student in high school and college. My study habits were nothing to write home about. In fact, I never wrote home about them or told my parents about them because they were embarrassingly bad.

Today, I am a completely different person. Not only have my study habits changed, but I have as well – from my physical appearance to my thought process to how I handle things emotionally. My wife who I’ve known since high school will be the first to tell you: I’m a new man. She is a new woman as well. The person I fell in love with over 14 years ago is not the same person I’m in love with today. Therefore, it would be a huge mistake for me to relate to her based on who she was on our wedding day; I need to relate to her based on who she is today. This takes a discovering process which happens primarily through intentional study.

Become a lifelong learner of your spouse. Some things you learn may be great and others not so great, but ultimately it’ll help you connect more intimately with your wife. It’s time we all go back to school to study our wives. Below are five reasons going back to school to study your wife is a great idea as well as five practical study habits you can develop to make it happen.

5 Reasons to Go Back to School to Study Your Wife

  1. To be the expert in your wife. To know your wife like nobody else knows her is an amazing thing and something you should desire. [Tweet This]
  2. To keep things fresh. Your relationship will never get stale because you will continue to discover new things about her.
  3. To stay sharp. Ever been caught off guard by something she said or did? When you constantly learn about her, her habits, her likes/dislikes, etc., you aren’t caught off guard as much.
  4. To increase desire. I want to be attracted to my wife in all areas forever! When you learn about someone, you tend to desire them more and more, and it just may go both ways.
  5. To increase self-discovery. The more I learn about my wife, the more I learn about myself which helps me to keep growing and becoming the best I can be.

5 Practical Study Habits to Learn More About Your Wife

  1. Listen to her. Groundbreaking idea, huh? I list this with full disclosure. I’m not the best listener, but when I really intently listen to her, I learn a lot. Be intentional about this.
  2. Spend regular and frequent time together alone. Block out at least 15 minutes daily for each other, and date weekly. Just spending 15 minutes together per day will provide a consistent opportunity to talk and learn more about one another, just like dating will, and it’s fun.
  3. Exercise together. Striving for and achieving fitness goals together is amazing. You’ll learn a lot about her in how she responds when stressed, when challenged, when tired, and when succeeding.
  4. Read books together. Grab some books on marriage and parenting, or money and fitness, or just a fiction book. As you discuss it, you’ll get more insight into her thoughts and her feelings.
  5. Pray for her and with her. Prayer is very intimate, and you’ll learn a lot. When we pray for our wives and ask God for help, I believe He gives insight to us about our wives as well. Pray daily and see what happens.
Sound Off

What's the best thing you've learned about your wife?

Jackie Bledsoe

Jackie Bledsoe is an author, blogger, and speaker, but first and foremost a husband and father of three, who helps men better lead and love the ones who matter most.

  • Deer Hurs

    Thanks for the encouragement Jackie!

  • CJ

    As a husband, you can attempt to do every one of these things. But if you wife decides to turn her focus away from you and helping to improve the marriage on her end, then you are pretty much screwed. Doesn’t matter how much you try to pay attention to her, pray for her, attempt to spend time together or do things together. If she doesn’t want to interact, what do you do then????

    • mike

      I am in that boat as we speak what’s left of my heart goes out to you I’m thinkin both of us should of been reading these articles long go. We have a 13 yr old daughter. Iv been married 16 years together 22 years. Iv made a lot of mistakes said and done things I m not proud of from bringing step kids in to the house to I work 7-7 she works 5-1230 am 5 days a week to controlling fits of rage from both of us. This will be the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do it is for me ?
      Start creating those memories you guys had when you first met. Read the article above it is very nicely said They need there friends and space. Be strong and healthy. be a leader it’s what attracts them it true can you images raising kids being a wife taking care of the house. The bills her job etc? My wife is anything but perfect Iv realized that it is me who had to change the daily routines. keep making memories help her out always make time for her 30 min minimum daily most importantly respect all always. Study your wife and you’ll be a god be confident even after she leaves ? I feel your pain

  • Paul_Sp

    Wish I had a wife to try this stuff with…..

    • Mamamia

      A good desire!

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