10 Ways to Stay Connected With Your Kids After Divorce

1. Make the most of your time
   In most cases of divorce, the mother has custody of the children. An agreement is reached about times that they will be with their father. Make these days special and happy. Go to the park. See a movie together. Let them choose what they would like to do. Just make sure they have 100% of your attention the entire time you get to have them.

2. Your home is their home
   You have moved out and now have a new home. This is going to feel strange to your children. Do everything you can to make them feel welcome and wanted in your new place. Dedicate a bedroom solely for their use. Let them decide how to decorate it. This will be exciting for your children and give them a sense of security when staying with you.

3. Share an interest
   Find a hobby that you both enjoy doing. Maybe your son likes snowboarding. Take it up with him! Your daughter might be an avid reader. Pick a book to read together so you can discuss it when you are together. Find out what your thing is together and build a positive connection with it.

4. A fresh start
   Start a brand new photo album for you and the kids. Always have your camera with you. Take pictures of each weekend and write what you did and where you were at.

5. You are still very important
   You will always be their Dad. Nothing on earth can change that fact. Your involvement in their life is critical to their future. Research by the University of Delaware concludes that children with involved fathers tend to have higher self-control and self-esteem. They also have stronger social and coping skills.

6. Be respectful of your ex
   No matter the hurt feelings or circumstances, only speak of your ex-spouse in respectful tones. She is still the mother of your children and they love her. Handle this difficult time with class and dignity. Not doing so leads to devastating consequences for the mental well-being of your kids.

7. Stay consistent
   Since you parted ways, it’s likely you have different ideas than your former wife. However, try to forge an agreement on how you each plan to parent your kids. Consistency is key. Your children will become confused if there are two sets of rules in two separate houses. Confusion leads to chaos.

8. Live close
   If at all possible, find a place to live that is close to your kids. It will lessen anxiety knowing Dad is “just down the street.” This will also allow you to stay very involved in their everyday lives. Picking them up from school, for instance, or taking them to the doctor. Little things mean so much.

9. The new person in your life
   Eventually you will begin to date again. If not handled properly, this can be very traumatic to your children –especially to daughters. Be very sensitive and careful about how and when you introduce someone new. Also, if you have teens remember they are watching how you handle dating. Behave as you would have them behave.

10. Do not wind up on cable access
    Ever seen the list of “Deadbeat Dads” on your cable? Do not be that guy. Whatever obligations you have agreed to, be sure that you fulfill them. It is your responsibility as a man and a father. Make sure your kids are secure and provided for. They will respect you and you will respect yourself.

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