On a random day recently, for some unknown reason, our 14-year-old son abnormally took the initiative to clean the kitchen, do the dishes, and make dessert for the family. It was a pleasant surprise, and I made it a point to praise him by saying, “What you did today was awesome and appreciated. Thank you.”
As dads, our children need and desire our ongoing acknowledgment and involvement in their daily lives, especially through our words. In fact, there are some specific statements and questions your kids wish they’d hear from you. Here are 13 things your child is hoping you’ll say.
1. Watching you do _________ really brings me a lot of joy.
Your kids need you to celebrate them and their accomplishments. This makes them feel valued.
2. What was the best (or worst) part of your day?
Your kids want you to be interested in what matters to them. Because to them, your being interested in their interests is the same as your being interested in them.
3. I love you more than you’ll ever know.
You can never tell your child “I love you” too much. Unconditional love is the foundation of healthy relationships.
4. I forgive you.
Kids desire reassurance and reconciliation, especially when they’ve done wrong. Forgiveness, along with a big bear hug, can make your child feel like a million bucks.
5. Will you forgive me?
Every dad is going to mess up sometimes. So when you do, make it a point to acknowledge it and apologize. Your kids need a dad who can always be real more than a dad who has to always be right.
6. I’m so thankful to be your dad.
Sharing how special you feel to be your child’s dad can make your child feel just as special, if not more.
7. You make me a better man.
Kids like to know their impact on you for the good. Sharing practical ways they make you better makes them feel important and needed.
8. How can I pray for you?
Kids have issues too, and need your support. Prayer is powerful way to support.
9. You really nailed that. Great job!
Acknowledging what your kids get right rather than just pointing out what they do wrong will go a long way.
10. I’m proud of you.
When you see your kids choosing right or making a difference, these are great opportunities to praise them for their character and integrity.
11. What would you like to do together this week?
What kid doesn’t love the opportunity to be the decision-maker for the family? Giving your kids a voice with family time gives them a sense of possession over just participation.
12. Let’s play a game together. You pick.
Games are a great memory-maker, stress-reliever, and relationship-builder. Some of your best family moments can be made around a board game or in the back yard.
13. Want to go out to eat?
I’ve never known a kid who doesn’t look forward to hearing you ask this question. Like it or not, kids’ favorite foods have a unique way of making them feel more loved by us.
Sound off: What other statements or questions could you use to put a smile on your child’s face this week?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What is something you absolutely love to hear me say to you?”