Early in our marriage, we were tight on money. Because of this, on birthdays, anniversaries, and other holidays, my wife and I decided we wouldn’t purchase gifts for each other. While the idea was a good one, we quickly discovered that something felt off about not doing something for one another on special occasions. Even if we didn’t spend money, we needed to do something that showed we were thinking about each other.
If this is true for holidays, it’s even more true for every day. Obviously you don’t need to (and shouldn’t) buy your wife a gift every day. However, there are subtle things a husband should do daily that will feel like a gift to your wife. Here are 3 choices every husband has to make daily for his wife.
1. Pay attention.
Let’s be honest, guys. We can be really bad at this. We pay attention to the big things, yes. We notice when she’s sad or angry or over the moon about something. However, we’re not great at the everyday things, like listening to her share about how her day went or noticing the things she cares about. One of the simplest but most challenging things every husband must do is pay attention.
This isn’t challenging because your wife is hard to pay attention to. Rather it’s because so many other things scream for our attention. Whether it’s your job, your kids, unfinished projects around the house, or the game playing in the background, there’s always something battling for your focus. Paying attention to your wife takes intention, but the reward is a wife who feels valued and heard. That’s a lot more important than the score of the game.
2. Let it go.
When you live with someone, there are bound to be things the other person does that annoy you. It may be just one or two small quirks, or it may be hurtful things she does and says. Either way, these things tend to pile up. And if we’re not intentional about choosing to let them go, we’ll find that something else begins to pile up: resentment.
One of the things a husband should do daily is practice letting go of those things your wife has done that bother or even hurt you. To be clear, I’m not talking about simply ignoring things that need to be addressed. You may very well need to have conflict with your wife. She may need to ask for your forgiveness. However, after all is said and done, you need to choose to release it. This will take some work, and you may even need some help (like from a counselor or a friend), but it’s well worth the effort to set you free from the baggage of resentment.Do yourself and your wife a favor; commit to growing a little every day.
3. Grow a little.
Growth isn’t inevitable. As we go through our lives, it’s quite possible to decide we’re happy with who and where we are and have zero interest in change or growth. After all, growth typically involves some work on our part. The problem is that you inevitably have areas in which growth would be a gift both to yourself and to those around you. Said differently, there are things about you that currently cause those around you hardship or pain. Love for them requires that one of the things a husband should do daily is grow a little.
How does that work? You grow when you listen to a different perspective and attempt to learn something new. You grow when you identify ways you could’ve responded better and ask forgiveness from those you have hurt. Growth takes energy, intentionality, and humility, but it’s one of the biggest gifts you can give to your wife and yourself (not to mention your kids, your friends, your coworkers.). Do yourself and your wife a favor; commit to growing a little every day.
Sound off: What other things should a husband do daily?
Huddle Up Question
Huddle up with your wife and ask, “Are there choices you wish I would make each day that I don’t?”