Discovering your purpose is one of the most important parts of life. That’s why one of the most powerful questions a man could ever ask himself is, “Why am I here?” What could possibly be more important than why God made you? Personally, I believe the two most important times in a man’s life are when he finally discovers who he is (his true identity) and why he is (his purpose).
The problem is, most men were never taught how to identify their purpose. So, allow me to share 3 simple steps for discovering your purpose.
Step 1: Hang around passionate, purposeful people.
Let’s face it—the people in our lives either will influence us in a positive way or infect us in a negative way. As you get closer to finding your purpose, all it takes is the wrong person at the wrong time to discourage you from pursuing it. Innocent phrases from those we love and care about most can extinguish even the most heartfelt desire:
“You can’t do that.”
“You’re not ______ enough to do that.”
“You won’t make any money doing that.”
Likewise, if you hang around people who are passionate and know who they are and why they are, they likewise will encourage you to live out your identity and purpose, too. As the cliché goes, “Birds of a feather flock together.” So, start flying with the eagles and stop hanging around turkeys.
Step 2: Spend more time by yourself and less time around other people.
I know this step seems to contradict the first step, so let me explain. I’m not talking about being a recluse and isolating yourself from society. But it’s almost impossible to “find yourself” and discover your purpose if you’re always around a crowd of people. We often use other people as a welcomed distraction because we feel uncomfortable being alone for any length of time.
When finding your purpose, you’re going to have to know, learn, and understand yourself better. And you can only do that through self-reflection. Instead of binging on sports, Netflix, gaming, porn, or drinking, try taking 15 to 20 minutes a day without distraction to study your secret desires, unique talents, skills, gifts, and abilities.
Step 3: Ask yourself and answer the tough questions.
This is the natural progression from the second step. Once you choose to spend some time alone, without distractions, take out a sheet of paper and write down your answers to the following questions without fear, judgment, or justification. Don’t worry—no one ever has to see these, so be honest:
- What topic, idea, issue, or problem in the world are you talking about when you lose track of time? Hint: Your purpose is always associated with a problem to which YOU are a solution.
- If you could master, research, and study anything deeply, what would it be?
- Regarding your unique talents, skills, and abilities, for what do you receive the most compliments?
- Regarding your unique talents, skills, and abilities, in what do you have the most confidence?
- Given your unique talents, skills, gifts, and abilities, what would you attempt to do if you knew you couldn’t fail?
- What would you attempt to do professionally (for free) if you never had to worry about money and paying bills?
- What do you find yourself doing that brings you the most joy, but at the same time, seems to bring joy to others when you do it?
If you answer all these questions honestly, without fear, judgment, or justification, you will see an obvious pattern. Your answers are clues to why you were created.
The world is waiting for you to pursue your purpose. The question isn’t whether you can. The question is: Will you?
Sound off: What advice would you give to a younger version of yourself about discovering your purpose?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What are you most passionate about?”