“Dad, thank you,” my oldest daughter whispered to me as we held hands and skipped at the Mall of America in Minnesota. I recently took a trip, just me and my three daughters, ages 12, 11, and 5. It was as ambitious as it sounds. We planned one night and two full days away. And man, did we pack it in.
One of the best ways I’ve found to connect with my kids is by taking a trip, but there are lots of ways dads can engage with their children more deeply. Here are 3 ways to connect with your kids.
1. Connect through a different setting.
My wife Kirsten and I try our best to schedule daily, weekly, and seasonal times to focus on our kids. We understand that if we don’t intentionally plan a time, it won’t happen. Engaged time can be as simple as a daily or weekly dinner at the table. My boys and I connect through playing outside, board games, or card games. With my daughters, we took a trip because we don’t have the conversations we want with the boys around. In a new setting, I could ask the girls about their fears, dreams, and ambitions going into the next school year. Different settings can create fun ways to connect with your kids.
2. Connect through conversation.
Was the trip to the mall with my daughters perfect? No. We didn’t cover every question I had planned to discuss. But we talked about boys, money, and many other things. Kids feel comfortable asking and answering tough questions when you’ve established trust. Your kids will be more likely to share bigger things with you after you’ve connected in small ways.
Consider making a list of all the conversations you want to have with your kids. This list will continually grow. For example, you might list what you want your kids to learn from you related to finances. During the mall trip, my daughters had fun learning about the process of using money to buy stuff. Maybe what you’d like to discuss with your kids is relationships or dating or spirituality. Be sure you’re providing connecting points for these conversations to happen.
Let’s make sure we’re doing all we can to create times of connection with our kids—consistently.3. Connect through being consistent.
You can move into different settings and have great conversations, but the key is consistency. What can you plan so you build in activities often? Get consistent with having family fun time. Maybe it’s as simple as Taco Tuesday or Slumber Party Saturday, but the goal is bigger. It’s to create consistent ways to connect with your kids. Let’s make sure we’re doing all we can to create times of connection with our kids—consistently.
Sound off: What’s something you do that helps you connect with your kids?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What’s one thing we do together that you really enjoy doing?”