Have you ever been checking out at the grocery store and had your card declined? I have, several times. It’s the worst feeling. It feels just as bad to have your electricity shut off because the bill hasn’t been paid. Again, I’ve been there. It’s hard for me even to put this part of my life out there. Now that it is, I might as well say it: Financial management is a weakness of mine. I hate it. One thing I’m looking forward to about the end of this life is not managing finances anymore. If only the money were there when I needed it and I never had to track it. If only…
But I do have to track it and manage it. Not only does it make me a better steward of my money and things, it makes me a more responsible, faithful, and informed person. It alleviates my fears and elevates my confidence and maturity. That’s the case when we confront our weaknesses. It lessens their power over us. While it may be scary, it’s necessary and makes our lives better. Here are 5 common men weaknesses we are afraid to confront.
I know I’m not alone with this one. According to the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, the amount of credit card debt in the U.S. is close to a trillion dollars. If there is one thing I’ve learned about this one is, the longer I put it off, the worse it gets. If this is your fear, take small steps. Look at your statement. Put a monthly budget together and set at least one achievable goal. If you’re married, make sure you discuss it with your spouse and get on the same page.Take control of your thoughts or they will control you.
When we give in to our thoughts, or perhaps even encourage or justify them, they take control of us. Our attitudes toward our wives and women in general become worse. They become disrespectful and dehumanizing. Our behavior can become more impulsive, less self-disciplined, and more self-indulgent. Whether this is driven by fear or depravity, we have to win early. Take control of your thoughts or they will control you.
3. Current or Past Hurts
Admitting we are hurt is a typical struggle for men because it involves vulnerability. We have to admit we have feelings and that other people have the power to affect them. This may feel like weakness, but it isn’t. It’s simply being human. All of us get hurt, and when we bury it or act like it’s not happening, it’s like building a wall between you and the people you love the most. You will cultivate bitterness and become emotionally withdrawn. Unpack your hurts and figure out how they are affecting your self perception and view in the world. Make sure it’s not giving you an inaccurate picture. Find wise counsel to talk to, and even seek professional therapy if the hurt runs deep.
This is one of the biggest men weaknesses because we actually think it’s strength. Bolstering in our minds our own self-reliant prowess keeps us from asking for help when in fact we desperately need it. We were never meant to walk through life alone. Each of us needs help not only to accomplish tasks but also to shore up our blind spots and weaknesses. Allowing our pride to endure or grow makes us arrogant, narrow minded, and stubborn. All of this limits our potential and our relationships.
Like hurt, it makes us feel weak to admit there’s something that scares us. Being afraid doesn’t make you weak. The bravest people are the ones who are scared but refuse to let that fear stop them. It’s only a weakness if you always let it stop you. Being honest about your fears is the best first step. Speaking about your fears openly is like turning the lights on. You can see it for what it is and take its power away. Then it’s just a matter of taking a step when that fear is telling you to stay still.
Sound off: What are some other men weaknesses that we are afraid to confront?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What is one of your strengths and one of your weaknesses?”