As a lifelong Spider-Man fan, I was so excited to see the webslinger on the big screen for the first time in 2002. It had everything you could hope for in a superhero movie: a compelling hero, a creepy bad guy, and great stunts. It also featured Spider-Man’s love interest, Mary-Jane “MJ” Watson, as the stereotypical damsel in distress. While other versions of Spider-Man, such as 2021’s No Way Home, feature MJ as a help to Peter’s adventures, this movie had a lot of MJ screaming in fear.
The damsel in distress is just one stereotype our society has about girls. From MJ to many of the Disney princesses, girls are often shown in media as incapable of taking care of themselves. While many stereotypes are harmless, some are dangerous if our daughters grow to believe or embrace them. Here are 5 girl stereotypes to dispel for your daughter.
1. Girls are too emotional.
When a girl gets upset, thoughtless guys in her life might say something like “I guess it’s that time of the month again.” Not only are statements like this offensive, but they also dismiss whatever a girl is feeling as invalid or as weakness. If your daughter is sensitive, help her to see how her emotions are a gift, bringing empathy and compassion to situations that need some.
2. Girls are teases.
There may be times when a girl dresses up or shows interest in a guy because she likes the attention, and by her words and actions, she leads a guy on. But there are far more times a girl has dressed up simply because she wants to look pretty. Teach your daughter that her beauty is something precious, and give her some practical ways to direct the kinds of attention she gets from guys.
3. Girls are bossy.
When a girl firmly share what she thinks, guys often label her as bossy. This is a reflection of the guy’s insecurity—he is uncomfortable with a female challenging him. What you’re seeing from a girl in these moments is not bossiness but assertiveness, a quality you should want to see more of in your daughter.
4. Smart girls aren’t pretty, and pretty girls aren’t smart.
Many shows and movies present girls as stunningly beautiful yet clueless or as incredibly smart but unattractive. When girls see this, they start to measure their outward appearance and report card marks against others, coming to believe they are either smart or pretty (because they think they can’t be both). Fight this stereotype by teaching your daughter self-confidence in every aspect of her life.
5. Girls need a man.
Teenage dating can feel a bit like a game of musical chairs, leaving some girls panicking when it seems like all the “spots” are taken. This can lead a girl to date a guy primarily because she has a fear of being alone. Remind your daughter of how precious she is, and teach her that a bad boyfriend is much worse than no boyfriend at all.
Sound off: What is another girl stereotype to dispel for your daughter?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What are three good reasons to speak up when something upsets you?”