I played quarterback for over a decade in the NFL and learned early on in my career that the group I always needed to be on the same page with was the offensive line. Those guys are a QB’s first line of defense. Without them, the game gets painful for passers. I was always thankful to be surrounded by men who were bigger and stronger than me to help me stay upright just long enough to try to throw the ball away. Who you surround yourself with matters, and not just in football.
If you have conversations with three new people every single day of your life and live 73 years, you’ll talk with over 80,000 other people. That’s amazing! And yet, very few of them will end up in your inner circle. We should be selective about who we let in and share close, personal details with, but there are certain kinds of people we should all have in our lives. If it’s true that “you are known by the company you keep,” we should consider who we let speak into our lives. Here are 5 people to surround yourself with.
1. People Who Will Challenge You
We all spend time with likeminded people. It’s easy. It’s where we find comfort. But we start to grow as dads, husbands, and friends when our ideas and beliefs meet opposition. Maybe you’ll be challenged by someone who just enjoys being combative or maybe by someone who simply thinks differently. Either way, you are the winner because those people will push you. That friction presents you with opportunities to analyze what you believe and why.
2. Someone Just Ahead of You in Life
Jon Kitna was a great resource for me as a young quarterback in the NFL. He is about a decade older than me and made it his mission to teach me how to conduct myself as a professional football player. He taught me how to practice, study, and grow as a player. He helped me go from being a boy to a man. I went to him for advice on and off the field. Everyone should have someone like Jon around, who has been there, done that and isn’t shy about sharing wisdom.
3. Someone Just Behind You in Life
If you’ve been married 10 years, for example, think of someone you know who is newly married, maybe has a young child or one on the way. This person needs a mentor. You could be that someone. We should all desire to live a life that brings value to others. A good first step is identifying who around you is just a few steps behind. Buy a cup of coffee or invite them over for dinner. It could spark some good conversations, and you can become for that person what Kitna was for me.
4. An Encourager
We all have bad days, and maybe even bad seasons. That’s why we all need someone in our life to lift us up when things get hard. For me, that’s primarily my wife. But I also have great buddies, like my friend Matt Schaub, who I’m constantly texting. He and others like him always know what to say when I’m facing something hard. Finding an encourager is a must because life is more curveballs than fastballs and an uplifting word from someone you trust can make all the difference.
5. A Dreamer
One of my favorite coaches is Randy Edsall, who was my coach at UCONN. We won the school’s first bowl game together in 2004. To do something that’s never been done requires discipline and hard work, but it also requires a dream. Edsall was a dreamer. He saw what could be at UCONN and made it a reality through discipline and hard work. Surround yourself with people who dream of what could be. They’re inspiring and motivational. We succeeded at UCONN because our coach wasn’t afraid to dream.
Sound off: Who you surround yourself with matters. Whose influence on you are you most grateful for today?
