boring marraige

5 Things to Do When Your Marriage Feels Boring

Remember when you first got married? Everything was new and exciting, and your relationship was full of fun and connection. Conversations just clicked and flowed naturally. Somewhere along the way, life happened, and the new became not so new, and the exciting became less exciting. Before you knew it, you felt like you had a boring marriage.

Sadly, feeling bored can lead a marriage down a dark path of arguments, bad decisions, and even divorce. It’s up to you to see the signs, take action, and make things more exciting. Here are 5 things to do when your marriage feels boring.

1. Ask yourself why you feel bored.

Don’t go down the route that you’ve married the wrong person. Instead, take time to self-assess and perhaps you’ll see that it’s a season of life you’re going through. From your career to personal aspirations, maybe life hasn’t worked out as you expected. Maybe it’s because your life has become routine and dull. Or maybe you’re not noticing the blessings in front of you. Either way, it’s important not to try to simply fix boredom but to consider the reason behind your feelings.

2. Take responsibility for changing.

Now that you’ve assessed the issues around why your marriage has become stale, it might be time to make a change. This can be as simple as getting a babysitter and going out to dinner as a couple, taking a quick day trip in your city, or even taking a weekend getaway. Make it your job to think outside the box, step out of the ordinary, and ensure that your marriage isn’t boring.

3. Consider what you used to do when you weren’t bored.

When you first got married, you probably made eye contact in conversation and focused on one another. Did you have a favorite coffee shop or restaurant you went to all the time? Sometimes, familiarity needs to be revisited. There’s a powerful thing that happens when we walk down memory lane. There are emotions and stories that only you share together. Tapping into those experiences and feelings will not be boring.

If you’re bored by the routine, change the routine.

4. Be spontaneous.

Break out of the rut of what you do every day. If you normally eat at home, try ordering takeout for dinner and eating it picnic-style at your local park. Or if you usually turn the TV on after dinner, turn on your wedding song instead one night and relive your first dance as a married couple. If you’re bored by the routine, change the routine. And you do that when you decide to be spontaneous.

5. Start a new habit together.

To not have a boring marriage, it might be time to do something exciting together. This could mean going out to lunch together once a week or deciding to make one day a week something special, like Milkshake Monday. It might mean taking a class together related to something you both find interesting. The point is to grow and learn together.

Sound off: What else can a couple do to prevent having a boring marriage? 

Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What are some things you can do when you feel bored?”