5 Things to Do When You Feel in Over Your Head

The moment I saw my paycheck, my stomach sank. My company must’ve made a mistake. I was in my third month as a financial advisor, and my earlier paychecks had been much bigger. After getting off the phone with the accounting department, my stomach sank even more. The company gave a base salary for the first three months, and after that, it was gone. My salary now fully depended on the sales I made, and I had only closed two sales in three months. I thought, “This is impossible. I can’t do this.” I was hopelessly in over my head.

Ever felt like that? Have your kids felt like that? Maybe you’re experiencing something like that now. Don’t lose hope. As someone who has experienced this quite a bit, I can help walk you through how to respond in a productive and positive way. Here are 5 things to do when you feel in over your head.

1. Relax.

When you feel like you’re in over your head, anxiety tends to take over. Sometimes it can even feel debilitating, if not altogether paralyzing and oppressive. Before you are overtaken by hopelessness, spend some time relaxing. You won’t be able to think well if you are overtaken by fear. Step away from the situation, go to a place that brings you peace, or maybe go exercise. Do something that calms your nerves and helps prepare you to move forward with strength.

2. Admit it.

This will help you face the facts and bring clarity on what you need. But you may also need to admit that this may be a situation you won’t be able to conquer. Admitting it gives you freedom to go for it and also the freedom to fail. Failure is not the end. No matter what, there’s still hope and things to gain from this experience, even if it’s humbling. There were some victories to celebrate in my financial advisor job along the way, but ultimately, I wasn’t able to fully overcome the challenges. Eventually, I was fired. I did whatever it took to succeed and fell short, but it was an amazing learning experience.

3. Face it.

If you feel like you’re in over your head, you may be tempted to run, quit before you start, or bury your head in the sand and pretend the challenge doesn’t exist. Don’t. Being a man means taking responsibility and facing things that are difficult, uncomfortable, and painful. Children run from things they’re afraid of, but men don’t. The Apostle Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 13:11, “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.” This is an opportunity to lean into your manhood and grow stronger, even if it proves to be too much.

4. Learn.

One of the reasons you feel in over your head is you don’t know enough yet. Take this opportunity to learn. Study the task, the job, or the problem. Put in the effort and long hours to become an expert. One of the best things about the internet is all of the information available to us. But don’t stop there. Seek out and talk to people who have performed well in your situation. Learn what they do and how they do it.

5. Ask for help.

If you’re like me, asking for help is not easy. It can feel like weakness, but it isn’t. You’ll need the support and expertise of other people. Seek out advice whenever you can. The only successes I found as a financial advisor came directly from advice I received from top producers and support reps in the company. Without them, I would have been lost the whole time. Finally, don’t forget you have a loving God who desires to give you guidance and wisdom. As James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” In fact, going to God first would be best.

Sound off: Have you ever been in over your head? What did you do?