There was a feisty teenage girl I got to know many years ago. While talking with her one night she was talking about having trouble in her friendships. Without thinking about what I was saying (because I was young and brash) I said, “Well that’s because you sabotage your relationships because you are afraid everyone will eventually end up hurting you if you let them get too close.” She didn’t react to what I said, she rarely reacted to anything. Perhaps that’s why I gave myself the permission to be so blunt. I thought very little that night and after about what I had said until many years later. She told me what I said to her that night rocked her. She stayed up all night thinking about it. I had no idea.
It made me realize I needed to be more measured with my words because words matter. They mean a lot, especially a father’s words to his children. Each day is an opportunity to speak life and truth into our children. So here are 5 things to say to your kids every day.
Tell your kids you love them. Say it every day; say it several times a day.1. “Hey, Junior, I love You.”
Love is one of those qualities that’s never subject to inflation. “I love you” doesn’t lose its effectiveness when it’s said on a regular basis. Tell your kids you love them. Say it every day; say it several times a day.
2. “So, Buddy, what are your plans for the day?”
This is not just about knowing, but about interest. It means a lot to the kids that Dad cares about what they’re up to and takes the time to compare notes. “Here’s my business planner. I’ve got three big meetings. What do you have scheduled for the day?”
3. “I am so grateful to be your dad.”
Our children need to know how we feel about being their parent. So much is lost when communication breaks down and kids stop relating to their dad or their mom as whole, feeling sentient beings. We’re not talking about manipulation drama here, but we’re talking about communicating some of the passion and the joy we feel in response to this ongoing privilege of parenting.
4. “Have a great day at school, and don’t forget who you are.”
Your child is growing into his identity, his sense of self, each and every day. The most important attribute is his identity as a child of God. Your family name may be Smith, or Wagner, or Hernandez, but your child’s identity always has been and always will be “Made in the Image of God.” Remind him of that every day.
5. Words of Affirmation.
The idea here is encouragement, “out-loud” belief, and a “heads-up” positive direction into the day. Repeated, ingrained affirmation delivered with the firm conviction of someone who loves your children and who believes in them. Do this every day; deliver your lines with sincerity, and make them count.
Huddle Up Question
Huddle up with your kids and say one of these 5 things.