It’s easy to cross the line between being a faithful man or foolish man. I didn’t really understand this until after I went through a divorce after a 16-year marriage. Intimate relationships always seem to expose either faithful or foolish behavior. As embarrassing as it is to admit, I realize now: I was a fool. But before you judge me, let’s be honest; we’ve all been fools.
The only question is what kind of fool we’ve each been. I hope this question doesn’t offend you, but that it enlightens you. Since I’ve confessed my little secret to you, allow me to show you the ways I’ve been a fool, and see if you’re able to relate to any of these behaviors. Here are 5 ways men are foolish.
1. Simple Fool
This means that as a foolish man, I simply didn’t know any better. Although I accept full responsibility for my past mistakes, as the son born to a 16-year-old single mom, I didn’t know at age 22 how to be a good husband, father, and leader of my family. I had no clue what it took to be a man. I was naïve; I didn’t know what I didn’t know. The simplest cure for being a simple fool is to ask before you act and to look before you leap.
2. Stupid Fool
As a stupid fool, even when I knew better, I didn’t always do better. So I repeatedly made mistakes I saw other men make. A good example of this is when I first started watching porn. I thought I could handle it, but I couldn’t. One radical way to avoid being stuck on being a stupid fool is to keep a journal of your mistakes. Trust me, after you read that list, you’re less likely to repeat it.
3. Stubborn Fool
This one isn’t about whether I knew better—it’s about how I thought I knew better than everyone else. I was always right (in my own eyes), and you couldn’t tell me anything. I was quick to anger and quick to argue to justify my foolish behavior. Whenever you find yourself being a stubborn fool, break the cycle by adding this single phrase to your opinions, statements, or decisions: “But you know, I could be wrong.”
4. Scorning Fool
Yes, I knew better, but I decided not to do better. I rebelled against everyone and did whatever I wanted. I allowed my foolishness to kill my relationships because I refused to humble myself and admit my wrongs. I knew right from wrong, but I refused to stop because I selfishly enjoyed what I was doing. The quickest way to come to your senses as a scorning fool is always to ask yourself this question: “Is this really worth everything it’s costing me?”
5. Serious Fool
I didn’t just think I knew better than everyone else; I thought I knew better than God, because I didn’t believe God’s opinion mattered. I thought I knew what was best for me, and God never figured into the equation. Unfortunately, the only way out of this type of foolishness is usually by hitting rock bottom.
Bad relationships are the result of foolish behavior.You may not fully agree with my assessment of my foolishness. But as men, I think we can agree that we need to check our behavior constantly. Over the years, I’ve learned that the best way to examine foolish behavior is to check the quality of your relationships. Bad relationships are the result of foolish behavior.
Sound off: What can a dad do to avoid becoming a foolish man?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What is the most foolish thing you have ever done? What is the wisest?”