Who doesn’t want to have a happy married life? It’s hard to imagine that anyone who says “I do” hopes the union is filled with discontentment, tension, or worse. So why do marriages often go off the rails? How is it that so many people wind up divorced or staying for the kids? We know what our own needs are and if they are being met, but do we truly know what leaves our wives longing? Do we care to try to meet those needs?
We can only control our own behavior and actions. If we are to lead, then we should set the example, making every effort to make our marriages thrive. So I surveyed several married women. In the process, I found these 5 ways wives want to be supported.
1. Acts of Service
It’s the little things that separate the good from the great. Someone has to handle all those mundane details that make up daily life within a functioning family. Those, unfortunately, are often left at our wives’ feet. So it means the world to a woman when her husband makes an effort to take care of dinner, run errands, or take the kids where they need to go—especially without being asked. Little gestures add up to big results. Work on instinctively knowing where your wife needs support.
2. Emotional Understanding
Make it a point to ask your wife on a regular basis what she’s thinking and feeling.Your wife sees the world and feels emotions differently than you do. We are never going to be able to comprehend her fully, but we can provide compassionate understanding regardless. The best way to do that is simply by listening to her. Make it a point to ask your wife on a regular basis what she’s thinking and feeling.
3. Stronger Communication
Have you ever closely watched a great defense in football? What are they doing before each play? They’re talking to each other. Great teamwork is the result of strong communication. A marriage is a team in every sense of the word. If your team is struggling, it’s guaranteed that effective communication is absent. Work on clearly expressing yourself to your wife. It’s vital.
4. A Sense of Humor
When tension is thick, nothing is a better antidote than lightening the mood. When women talk about what they really love in a man, they almost always include, “He makes me laugh.” Not everyone is gifted with comedic timing, but everyone can pause for a second, see the ridiculousness of a moment, and quip something to break the tension. Family life is nonstop comedic material. Learn to use that to your advantage.
5. Validation
Your wife needs to know she’s doing a good job. She wants to hear that she’s a good wife, a good mom, and a good person. Validation is critical to every person in one form or another. If we never receive it, we stop caring, and that’s when things begin to head south. Make sure you compliment your wife consistently. Tell her thank you for all she does. Let her know how much you appreciate her.
Sound off: How do you best support your wife and where do you fall short?
Huddle up (or cuddle up) with your wife tonight and talk about needs you both have that aren’t being met.