dating my daughter

8 Questions to Ask Your Child’s Date

One secret Hollywood moguls know is that if they can get 18-year-old males to a movie, it will be a blockbuster. The reason? Because those young men will take their girlfriends with them to see it. But the reverse is not true. Most boys will not go see flicks girls want to see. This principle doesn’t apply to just movies. The guys our daughters date, court, or hang out with wield a tremendous influence. So, how much do you really know about the young man your daughter has a crush on?

Unlike Hollywood, most teen romances do not have a happy ending, so protect your daughter’s heart. There are definitely things I want to know when someone starts dating my daughter. Here are 8 questions you need to ask your daughter’s boyfriend.

But first, give the kid a break.

We all know the story of the dad with the shotgun on his lap. While it might be your gut instinct, it is best to forgo that technique. Remember, he’s a kid. He will definitely make mistakes and be selfish. Let him know your expectations and feel free to be firm, but give him some grace. Ultimately, he’s trying to figure himself out just like your kids. Here are the 8 questions to ask him.

1. “Could you please give me your contact information and your parents’ as well?”

Be sure to ask for his cell phone number and address and his parents’ names and phone numbers. If they are driving, be sure to note the make and model of the car and the license plate number. This is common sense and just a good safety habit.

2. “What is it about my daughter that made you want to spend time with her?”

Then, sit back and listen. Pay attention carefully to his answer. He may fumble a little because he is learning how to understand his feelings and put them into words. But you should gain a window into how he views your daughter and maybe girls in general.

3.  “What do you like to do for fun?”

He might be into sports, or music or maybe art. Having insight into how he spends his free time gives you a clue of his personality type. For me, when someone is dating my daughter, I like to know if they share the same interests.

4. “Do you or your family attend a particular church?”

You may or may not be a religious person yourself, but it would be good to know the beliefs of the person going out on a date with your child. You will learn a lot about what motivates him. Does he belong to a particular religion? Does he attend worship on a regular basis? Of course, use your best manners and tact with these sensitive questions.

5. “Where do you see yourself in a couple of years?”

We all want our kids to surround themselves with quality people who make future plans. This is especially true for me when someone starts dating my daughter. If your child’s date seems shiftless, that’s a warning sign.

6. “What are you two going to do tonight?”

You will certainly want to know where they are going on their date. Will they being going to the movies? Maybe they are going to a concert. Find out exactly where they will be and set a firm time to arrive back home.

7. “Are you willing to watch out for my daughter’s wellbeing tonight?”

As a father, you would do anything humanly possible to protect your child from harm. Be sure her date feels the same way. Will he take care of her as you would?

8. “Are you willing to show my daughter the same respect I have raised her to show you?”

Will he show your daughter the respect she deserves? Will he bring her home when he said he would? Being respectful ranks high in the list of important traits of a strong character.

Sound off: What questions would you add?

Huddle up with your kids and ask, “If you were dating someone, what is one thing you think I should know about the person?”