In Denver several weeks ago, over 100 prominent scholars and religious and civic leaders joined together to release a joint statement called, “The Marriage Movement: A Statement of Principles.” The pledge states that “in this decade we will turn the tide on marriage and reduce divorce and unmarried childbearing, so that each year more children will grow up protected by their own two happily married parents and more adults’ marriage dreams will come true.” Diane Sollee, Director of the Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education, said, “Our current policies are based on acceptance of family breakdown and are focused on dealing with the aftermath and fallout. This statement leads the way to positive, preventable supports for marriage. It’s filled with hope.”
To Think About …
If you were to ask some average American adults to list the benefits of marriage, you would probably get a lot of sarcasm and maybe even laughter. Marriage has gotten a bad rap in recent years. But, as Glenn Stanton has shown in his book, Why Marriage Matters, there are some very real and tangible benefits to being married. For example, alcoholism is least common among those who are married, and married alcoholics tend to suffer less in that condition than those who aren’t married. Studies found similar results with suicide. Research also shows that, believe it or not, a married man with heart disease can be expected to live, on average, 1400 days longer than an unmarried man with a healthy heart. That ‘s also true for married men who have cancer or are 20 pounds overweight, as compared to their healthy, unmarried counterparts. Married men also recover more quickly from illness and disease, are better able to handle stress, and are less susceptible to depression and other mental illness. And, not surprisingly, adults who are married generally do better as parents.
ACTION POINTS for Committed Fathers
- Tell your wife a few of the very real benefits of being married to her. Tell her “thanks” for bringing some great things into your life.
- Celebrate the ways your wife is different from you. Remember, differences are not excuses for changing her; they are tools to help you better appreciate and serve her.
- Add “successful marriage” to your list of goals for your children. Be intentional about teaching them the skills that will help them have healthy relationships–not just skills that will help them succeed in academics, sports, the business world, etc.
- Consider volunteering for (or starting) a marriage mentoring program at your local church, synagogue, temple or other community forum.
- If you’re a divorced dad, make every effort to be civil toward your ex-wife. Cultivate something like a business friendship, so you can work together for the sake of your children.
