I can remember recently coming home from work to my wife sitting on the couch attempting to fold a massive pile of laundry. It didn’t take long for me to notice in her silence that she wasn’t in the mood to discuss her day. I tried to play it off at first, but once I asked her what’s wrong, she reluctantly admitted to feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. She explained that while does so much for me and the kids, sometimes no one even seems to notice or care—that we act entitled to her “services.”
I had to admit she wasn’t all wrong. My wife was feeling taken for granted in marriage for all she does and all she contributes. Thankfully, I’ve learned some things to help avoid this. Here are 5 signs you might be taking your wife for granted.
1. You never acknowledge the routine chores she does.
Every couple handles household work differently. But when common household chores become heavily one-sided, your wife can quickly feel taken for granted, especially when her work goes unrecognized. Don’t be the guy who rarely notices or acknowledges all his wife does (laundry, dishes, cleaning, working to provide for the family, paying the bills). Just a simple thank you can make all the difference.
2. You’re OK with her doing the “heavy lifting” with the family.
If your wife is like mine, she puts in many hours to make family life work. This might include being the kids’ taxi driver and doing the shopping and cooking. If so, your wife regularly needs some relief. Because she doesn’t complain, it’s easy just to let her do the things we easily could do for her to lighten her load.
3. Your needs always come first.
Putting your spouse’s needs before your own is not only the foundation of a good marriage, it’s a good way to acknowledge your wife’s value. If you’re regularly spending money, making choices, and taking time for yourself at the expense of your wife, or without her having the same options and priority, you might be taking her for granted.
4. You haven’t complimented or praised her in a while.
If you can’t remember the last time you raved about or surprised your wife, it’s probably time to do so.Your wife wants and needs to hear you say “I love you.” And she enjoys your compliments. Every now and then, it’s just nice for her to come home to some fresh flowers or her favorite kind of chocolate. It’s not as hard as you think. If you can’t remember the last time you raved about or surprised your wife, it’s probably time to do so.
5. She tells you so.
If your wife has recently told you something like “you don’t realize how much I do around here” or “all I want to know is that what I do is appreciated,” you might need to take her words to heart and admit that you’re likely taking her for granted.
Sound off: Which of these five things hit closest to home that you could work on this week?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “Why do you think it’s important to say thank you to people who do kind things for us?”