In our house, I am the planner and my wife is spontaneous. Can you relate? Let me give you a scenario. You plan to make a quick grocery store run for three specific things before the game starts. While at the store, your phone buzzes. It is your wife…
She calls after you’ve already waited 15 minutes in the check-out line, made your purchases, and just walked out of the store. She is not calling to say “Hi,” but instead is calling to say she just realized she needs a few more items. Needless to say, your plans to catch the beginning of the game, and possibly the entire first quarter, are not happening! Can you relate?
No matter how much we plan and prepare, life more often than not finds a way to surprise us. I have to admit, I am not as patient as I need to be when this happens. But I’m recognizing it and working to be better.
Here are some tips on how to keep your cool when the unexpected occurs:
1. Be quick to listen.
No matter what is said or done, listen to what your wife or kids are saying. Don’t just hear their word; try to understand how they are feeling in that moment.
2. Be slow to speak.
When things happen like this, I usually begin to vent my frustrations pretty quickly. I could keep the situation from escalating by being slow to speak.
3. Be slow to become angry.
I can skip #1, disregard #2, then go from one to ten in frustration (on a scale of 10) pretty quickly. Whether our frustration is justified or not, we should not be so quick to express it.
4. Get rid of negative thoughts and laugh if you can.
Yes, you now have to go back in the long lines of the store, or you will be late to the game because somebody messed up or forgot something. Get rid of those thoughts. Find something positive that happened and keep your focus there.
5. Pray and take action.
A quick prayer for patience, peace, or understanding can help you do all of the above. Once you do that, do what you need to do. Go back in the grocery store, turn around to get what was forgotten, or make the choice to do something different.
Related Resources:
- 5 Ways to Keep Cool with Your Family Stress
- How to Become Great at Handling Rainy Days in Fatherhood
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