My wife and I were watching the news, unaware that our kids were behind us watching too. We saw all the events unfold surrounding the Afghanistan evacuation and bombing at the airport in Kabul. My kids asked me if it was a movie, shocked by the images on the screen. I had a hard time keeping my emotions suppressed as I tried my best to explain what was happening.
The silence in the room left my children looking at me to see how they should respond. At that moment, I realized that how I react has a great impact on how they respond. When this event pops back up in the history books, they will remember how Dad responded. Whether it’s with current events in culture or specific challenges your family is facing, here are 3 reasons you need to be the calmest person in the room.
1. Calm dads are safe.
When things go sideways, our kids are looking for safety. They are longing to know that they will be OK, and I think we all desire this to some extent. When trouble hits, calm dads represent safety. If we respond with anger and anxiety, they will look for other places to find assurance and safety. Remaining calm lets our kids feel secure even if internally, we are unsettled with what’s going on.
2. Calm dads bring peace.
When is the last time you saw a peacemaker who wasn’t in control of his or her emotions or feelings? Calm dads bring peace to all situations. In most houses, when Dad is losing it, everyone is divided. Your actions and attitude are contagious, so you must stay calm. When you’re calm, your kids will be calm too. You’ll create peace that way and it’s a lot easier for you to decide what to do next when there’s peace instead of chaos.
3. Calm dads are easy to follow.
A pattern of calm leadership assures our kids that no matter what’s happening, they can follow Dad.When I worked for a car rental store, I had a boss who would lose his mind every time something went wrong. I struggled to follow his leadership. Remaining calm in the midst of unforeseen, unknown, or unwanted circumstances lets our kids know they’re in good hands. A pattern of calm leadership assures our kids that no matter what’s happening, they can follow Dad. Remaining calm assures that you are easy to follow.
Sound off: How do you remain calm in tough situations?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What are your thoughts and feelings when you see me dealing with a problem or crisis?”