This is the All Pro Dad podcast, where in each episode, dads of all ages dive into just one question. Today, we ask, “Have I taken the time to get to know my children for who they are?”

You spend more time with your kids than pretty much anyone. But how well do you know them? The real them? What things make them happy, anxious, and afraid? What are their hopes, dreams, and fears? Veteran dads Ted Lowe, Jason Hood, and All Pro Dad founder Mark Merrill share strategies they’ve used to dig down deep and get to know their children better than ever.

When kids know dad wants to know the real them, they tend to open up more. That’s a win for us as dads, but we can get in our own way sometimes. Our personalities may differ from our kids’. Our likes and dislikes don’t always align. It can be tough to find the right balance, but committing to do what it takes to truly connect with your kids will pay off. Here are a few steps you can take:

1. 1. Be amazed.
2. 2. Be curious.
3. 3. Be affirming.
4. 4. Be flexible.
5. 5. Be there.

Bottom line: When your kids know you get them, they know you love them.

Today’s Pro Move: For one week, ask your kid for his or her high and low of the day.