Our kids are facing battles in their minds. Everything from school pressures and expectations to personal identity and relationships are weighing on them. In this episode of the All Pro Dad Podcast, host Ted Lowe is joined by BJ Foster and Bobby Lewis to talk about the mental load kids are carrying and how dads can help them manage it well.

Intrusive. It means invasive and upsetting. This perfectly describes our kids’ thoughts. It can be dangerous to their sense of self, motivation, and productivity. Many kids suffer in silence. That should be a red flag for parents.

**WARNING** We do mention and discuss suicide in this episode. If this topic is triggering for you, skip the portion from 29:33–31:20. If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, call or text 988 or visit www. 988lifeline.org. You can also call 1-855-771-HELP (4357).

Why This Matters

Kids who are burdened by too many negative thoughts begin to see a dip in confidence, self-esteem, and motivation.

Key Takeaways

• All kids battle their thoughts: Children commonly struggle with intrusive thoughts like “No one likes me,” “I’m stupid,” and “I can’t do it.”
• Intrusive thoughts have a source: Often intrusive thoughts result from developmental limitations, cognitive biases, environmental influences, and past trauma or modeling.
• Parents can help kids combat their intrusive and dangerous thoughts: Practicing open communication, resiliency, positive thinking, and limiting social media all help.
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Important Episode Timestamps

• • (00:00 – 00:00:54) Introduction & Meet the Hosts

  Ted Lowe, BJ Foster, and Bobby Lewis introduce the episode and its theme.

  • (00:54 – 01:14) Big Question: What Are Some Dangerous Thoughts That Kids Battle?

     

  • (01:14 – 03:32) Childhood Negative Thoughts

  Each host recalls a dangerous thought they battled as kids.

  • (04:05 – 05:41) The Five Most Common Dangerous Thoughts in Kids

  Breakdown of five key negative thoughts children experience.

  • (05:41 – 07:52) Social Media is Reinforcing Negative Thoughts

  How social media and comparison culture impact children’s self-perception.

  • (07:52 – 10:17) Recognizing When Kids Are Struggling

  The subtle signs that indicate a child is battling self-doubt.

  • (11:14 – 12:59) The ‘Fred in Your Head’ Strategy

  A practical technique for separating thoughts from identity.

  • (14:10 – 18:00) Dads Can Create a Safe Space for Kids to Share Their Feelings

  Encouraging open conversations without judgment.

  • (19:34 – 25:50) Modeling Positive Thinking for Kids

  How parents’ self-talk influences their children’s mindset.

  • (31:20 – 32:52) Pro Move of the Week: Ask This Question
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APD Pro Move:
To help combat persistent or severe intrusive thoughts or behaviors in your children, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or mental health professional. 

Sponsor:
The All Pro Dad Podcast is proudly brought to you by Family First, a nonprofit dedicated to equipping parents with resources to strengthen their families. Learn more at FamilyFirst.net.

All Pro Dad Resources:
Episode 62 – How to Raise Emotionally Strong Boys 

5 Thoughts That Are Dangerous For Kids