This is the All Pro Dad podcast, where in each episode, dads of all ages dive into just one question. Today, we ask, “What do I do when I get angry with my kid?”

Ever step on a LEGO? It feels like a sniper got you from the rooftop. It hurts even more if it happens after you asked your kids to put them away 50 times and they didn’t. So, what happens? Usually, we get angry, even if we don’t want to. On today’s episode, Ted Lowe, Bobby Lewis, and Reggie Lewis talk about how to deal with father anger issues.

Would you react calmly or angrily to the LEGO situation? Why is that your tendency? Our reactions matter. When we are triggered by our children, we can react in ways that push them away in ways we later regret.

The research is clear on this. When you are triggered, your brain releases chemicals that send you into a fight-or-flight response while significantly limiting the logical part of your brain. While we should love our lightning-fast reaction times, the amygdala is often so efficient that our reaction times hurt our relationships. But we are not victims of our amygdala; there are some really practical, clear ways to respond.

When we get angry, our kids focus more on our reaction than their behavior. So, control your father anger issues as best you can. How? Pausing to breathe and listen. Fight the urge to immediately react. This approach gives you the space to be the dad you want to be and the one your kid needs you to be.

Today’s Pro Move: Pause the next time your child triggers your anger. It will help you be more of who you want to be and more of who your kid needs you to be.