From a grown man’s perspective, talking to teen daughters is often an exercise in bewilderment. The two worlds can’t possibly be further apart most times. We do our parental job in teaching discipline, structure, right and wrong, and then we hold on for dear life as the teenage years twist and turn her.
From a grown man’s perspective, talking to teen daughters is often an exercise in bewilderment.Let’s get this straight: your daughter craves your approval and acceptance, which is actually why your daughter hates to talk to you about certain things. It makes her cringe at the thought. This leaves us with a choice of either understanding and accepting that, or fighting it, and creating a large amount of strife. Choose option one. From my experience raising two, here are 3 things teen daughters hate talking about to Dad.
1. Menstruation Cycle
My male logic (and often stubborn stupidity) has repeatedly over the years pleaded for some type of understanding on this topic with my daughters. I beg them to tell me when it’s “that time,” and I will gladly and respectfully fade into the background until such time is over. Under no circumstances will they ever do that. It infuriates them that I even bring up such a thing. Count this as Mom territory. However, single dads may not have this option. In that case, be as careful and considerate as possible when broaching the subject. Just understand that almost nothing you say is going to be received well.
Unlike topic 1, there are times when your input is desired here. But that’s only when they are seeking a male perspective to help them understand a situation. Otherwise, they want no part of telling you how they feel romantically towards another person. This presents a problem because Dad is charged with knowing who the daughter is seeing, what the couple is doing, and enforcing the rules of the family. The gritty details of these conversations can quickly become messy, so tread carefully. A teen usually shares those things with her mom, female to female. The stereotypical dad thing of the shotgun on the porch does not play well, and frankly, is a shallow out. Leave the nonsense to social media memes, and bring your Dad A-game to the conversation. Your experience is valuable to her if you present it in a calm, understanding, non-threatening way. Two things are in play here: 1. She doesn’t know what she doesn’t know. 2. She’s craving independence to make her own decisions. Develop the boundaries together that are suitable and comfortable to all involved, making sure her input is heard and taken seriously.
3. Issues with Friends
It’s not that your daughter doesn’t want to talk to you about these things, it’s just that we do not grasp the complexity of their world. Often times we make matters worse by making them feel judged or ashamed, even though neither was our intention. So she will keep it boxed up. When you find yourselves in these type of conversations, a dad’s primary job is to simply listen. Be a shoulder to cry on. She’s moving into adulthood, and she has to learn to handle these interactions on her own. What she needs from us is our loyalty. The best solution is the one where she stands on her own two feet with your support behind her. However, be prepared to step in if the situation requires it, but do so with her acknowledgment and blessing.
Sound off: What are some of the things your teenage daughter hates to talk about with you?
Huddle Up Question
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What subjects are hardest for you to talk to me about?”