I love being a girl dad. My daughter is 8 years old, but I often hear that when girls become teenagers, they become different creatures. As a result, dads lose some of the connection they once had. I pray this is not the case for me and my girl. I know she is growing into a young woman, and as her dad, I want to be a great influence on who she is becoming.
One of my favorite things to do with my daughter is to go for a drive or a quick run to the store. She loves to talk, and I love listening to her mind wonder about the things of this world. I want to be intentional with our time and conversations because there are things she needs to know—things every girl dad should teach his daughter. Here are 5 things to talk about with your daughter before she turns 10.Help your daughter navigate relational boundaries now so she will be equipped to handle conflict as a teen.
1. Relational Boundaries With Friends
Friends are a vital part of our daughters’ lives. So we want to help them establish boundaries in a healthy way that protects them from undue problems. When you allow your daughter to talk honestly about her friends and allow her to set up boundaries, you show that you support her and care about her well-being. If you can help her navigate relational boundaries now, she will be equipped to handle conflict as a teenager. And if she ever has issues with friends, she knows she can come and talk to her dad about them.
2. Her Future Husband
I love to joke with my daughter about her future husband and how he will not be as cool as me. She entertains me by agreeing that no other man can be as cool as her dad. Joking aside, I do tell her often that her mom and I are not just praying for her husband—we are praying for her future. I actually pray that if she gets married one day, her husband is better than me in every way. I believe that when you openly have these conversations with a daughter, it helps her know that you care deeply about her future in every respect.
3. Why You Love Her Mom
As much as I love my daughter, I will always love her mom more. I want her to hear me talk positively about her mom for two reasons. First, I want her to know how much her mom really does mean to me. It’s important for her to hear me speak words of affirmation about her mother. Secondly, I want her to see how a man is supposed to care for and cherish his wife and that she should receive the same from her future husband one day. Often, I do this with short comments over time that build up her mother. These things are also important to talk about with your daughter if you are a single dad. Speak the truth while still attaching a high value to your girl’s mother.
I want my daughter to know that I believe her identity is not in what she can or can’t do but rather in God. In our house, we believe she is a daughter of God. As a daughter, she has been given identity from Him. Helping her know this allows me to speak the truth to her and combat any negative thinking she may have about herself. When our girls know their identity as daughters of God, it empowers them. You must be diligent to have this conversation over and over throughout your daughters’ lives.
5. How Much You Love Her
My daughter should never wonder if she is loved. In conversation, I always ask her if there is anything she can do to make me love her less. She knows now that the answer is a resounding no. We have to communicate that we will always be there for our daughters. If we over-communicate this before they are teenagers, our daughters will know that their dads always have their backs and they are loved no matter what.
Sound off: What are some other things to talk about with your daughter before she’s 10?
Huddle Up Question
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “Do you know why I love you?”