types of girls

5 Types of Girls I Don’t Want My Son Dating

At the beginning of 1848, a carpenter named James Marshall was working on building a sawmill near Sacramento, California when he found gold. Although he and his employer tried to keep the discovery quiet, news started to spread. Sam Brannan, a shop owner in nearby San Francisco, looked to cash in, not by mining but by selling equipment to prospectors. He initially announced the great gold hope in the streets and then he sent publications east. Initial reports around the country were greeted by skepticism. But, in December, President Polk confirmed the abundance of gold in California. By 1849, the rush was on. The hope-filled prospectors looking to strike it rich became known as “The 49ers”.

Unfortunately, some thought they struck it rich only to find out that the shiny, gold substance was only pyrite. It is otherwise known as “fool’s gold”. While gold is both soft and nearly indestructible, pyrite is brittle and breaks apart easily. Another way to tell the difference is during panning; pyrite is lighter and will easily move around the pan with the water while gold will normally stay in the same place.

When my son discovers girls, the last thing I want him to do is invest his heart and mind on fool’s gold. Don’t misunderstand me. This is not a value statement. I believe all human beings to be of eternal worth and significance. However, teenage boys (and plenty of men) will chase flash without considering what is below the surface. Physical attraction is important, but it’s the core of a woman that makes her a lasting companion and sharpen him into a better man. [Tweet This] My son may need to learn this lesson through painful experience, but hopefully that pain will be held to a minimum. With all that said, here are 5 types of girls I don’t want my son dating.

1. Dishonest

We have all lied at times, but a person who makes it a habit, even about small things, cannot be trusted. The relationship will only end in frustration and disappointment, perhaps worse. The thing I would tell my son to look out for is how she speaks about people. Is she nice to people when they are around, but speaks badly about them when they leave? If so, then watch out.

2. Shallow

She cares most about surface things and first world problems, namely involving her. Shallow people have limited emotional depth because they don’t invest thought and energy in them. Caring little for the needs of others, she also tends to make snap judgments without knowledge and lacks empathy. Many teenagers have a self-focus and have only realized a certain amount of emotional maturity. However, I would caution my son with the question, “How does she respond to people in pain?” If there is a lack of concern, don’t waste your time.

3. Vain

It’s not just that she is fixated on how she looks, but she is focused on herself. People who are vain will tend to focus their energy on creating a picture of what looks good rather than developing the heart and authentic friendships. Relationships come in and out of their life with little care. I would tell my son to look for a couple of warning signs. How often is she taking selfies, looking at those pictures, or in a mirror? What does her friend history look like? If the answers are quite a bit and a revolving door of friends, that is a major red flag.

4. Materialistic

When she places the value of things over people, she can’t be counted on. Materialistic people will be the first to cut and run when things get difficult. A relationship with her is like building a house in the sand. It won’t last. I want my son to only build relationships with people that will hang in there when things are hard. He needs to pay attention to how much she talks about having expensive things. Does she try to impress others with them or take excessive pride in them?

5. Unfaithful

She consistently breaks promises and doesn’t keep her word. There is no follow through. It is a recipe for a painful relationship, potential cheating, and not worth his time. The question I would ask him is, “How often does she do what she says she’s going to do?” If she doesn’t walk her talk, find a girl who does. There are plenty out there.

Sound Off

What types of girls would want your son to avoid dating?

BJ Foster

BJ Foster is the Director of Content Creation for All Pro Dad and a married father of two.

  • JC Cincy

    so basically… a Kartrashian….

  • Midwest

    Well spoken JC! Well spoken.

  • Bosephus

    I dont want them dating a common tramp like their mother obviously is!

    • RelativeChaos00

      If you have children, remember that they are half her no matter how much you dislike her. Referring to her as a common tramp tells your kids that you think that they are half common tramp as well and I doubt that is the opinion of themselves you want to reinforce. Even if they can’t stand her, badmouthing her doesn’t do them any favors. <3

      • David Zirilli

        I am not sure of what was intended, but Bosephus said that his child’s mother is dating a common tramp, not that she is one. So, either Bosephus was making a self-deprecating remark or is upset about his child’s mother’s current date. That said, RelativeChaos00, you have some good advice for many others I am sure.

  • Trogan Fan

    Tsk, tsk. There are girls you date and girls you marry. Hot, shallow, slightly crazy chicks are far better in the sack.

    • Paul_Sp

      Who can you speak for besides yourself? You can’t define “better” for other people.

  • daryl

    this a tough situation/topic because teenage boys even ones with a good relationship with their father have a tough time listening to their father’s advice. Especially when a pretty girl is involved. This situation is one he might have to find out on is on, then I will be there to support him as he figures it out.

    • BJ_Foster

      Very true Daryl!

  • drrichardnorris

    Great guidance which also can be applied to 5 types of boys my daughter should look out for.

  • Rebecca A-Schelling

    Good points, but labling a girl “vain” for taking selfies and looking in the mirror well… This is a tough and cruel world we live iin, especially for women and teenage girls.They are having self-image problems because of the media, by men, by boys all the time.Would they be accepted, are they pretty enough, thin enough…these things are determined by who are around. I tell my kids a boy 19 and a girl 15 to be friends with all, to especially be friends with the person they like before they start dating, because then they get to know the real person, behind the selfies, or infront of a mirror. We’ve all had to deal with one or two insecurities in our teenage or young adult life didn’t we? Luckily, for us sosial media wasn’t that popular then 🙂

  • It is still so worth while to have the conversation with our boys because as time goes on they will learn through natural consequences that dishonoring dad’s advice is painful. Even though they reject our advice, they still need to hear it. All my boys are grown, now. I only have girls in my home and I do not allow them to date until they are ready to get married. So, hopefully I am doing their future husbands a real favor (not to mention the girls themselves). I think of it this way. There is no way that I would put $1,000,000 on the front seat of a car and let a 16-year old boy drive around town with it. My girls are worth much more to me than $1,000,000.

  • Mark M

    I don’t want to be around people who have those qualities ler alone date them

  • CJ

    Very tough to read because my wife showed no signs of the above through our first 19 years of marriage and then went and had a 2-year emotional affair during a time period where I truly believed she was pressing into and deepening her relationship with God. Just goes to show you that even if you think you know someone after 23 years, things can change over time (dishonesty and unfaithfulness can emerge even when they aren’t there at the start).

    My wife said I was her best friend and loved me through the first 17 or so years of marriage and then started to disconnect and now, after 21-plus years (and 5 months since the affair was revealed), not sure exactly how God is going to reconcile our relationship into something stronger than it was before. I am praying that it will be better and redeemed, but once that trust has been broken it is hard to go back!

  • Tony

    The worst part is when they find a girl they think they can “fix” when in fact they’re playing the boys the whole time. If I do my job right, my little girl (Currently 5) will find a boy who’s dad takes articles like this seriously.

  • Liz

    Someone with desperately low self-esteem: this reflects on the type of character my son has, too!

  • Sarah H.

    I don’t want either of my children to even hang out with people like this, unless it’s very brief to teach a life lesson.

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Huddle up with your kids and ask, “Why is it important to look past the way people look?”

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