value yourself

How do You Value Yourself?

Zig Ziglar is one of the most famous and entertaining speakers I’ve ever heard. I first had the opportunity to hear him, live and in person, about 12 years ago when he spoke in Indianapolis. We were at the same place the Colts play and the place was practically filled up. I’ve learned a lot listening to Zig over the years.

Recently, I’ve had to relearn something. And it has to do with my self-worth. I had been looking at myself and had become disappointed with some of the results I was getting: having a lack of punctuality, a lack of success or lower financial standing than I’d hope to be at this age, even a lack of courage to step out and take on certain challenges. What I relearned from Zig was that I may be hurting myself and preventing myself from accomplishing these things. I had been achieving what I believed I was capable of.

You might be in the same boat. Maybe you’ve made mistakes as a husband or dad and those mistakes have caused you to doubt all that you are capable of. If so, it’s time to work on your opinion of you. How you value or devalue yourself dictates what you accomplish as a dad, as a husband, and in life.

Here are a few practical things you should be regularly doing to work on you.

1. Exercise and get physically fit.

In addition to looking good and having good health, the Mayo Clinic says exercise improves your mood, boosts your energy, improves your sleep, and it’s fun. It also reduces stress, helps you to feel happy by releasing endorphins and more!

2. Surround yourself with positive people.

Nothing like being surrounded by people who encourage you even when holding you accountable. And the people you hang with most represent who you most likely are. This quote says it best, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

3. Tell yourself what you’re worth.

One of Zig’s practices which he attributes much of his success to is the practice of using what he calls “self-talk cards.” These cards are a set of 3×5 cards with positive affirmations, based on Scripture and according to God’s Will, which he recited daily. To some reciting affirmations seems hokey, but before you pass judgment, listen to why Zig said it works. We are unable to function in a manner that is inconsistent with what we really believe. So, if we affirm we are always on time, but our actions show we are always late, one of two things will happen. We’ll either change our actions so we live up to our “being on time” affirmation, or we’ll stop affirming it. In Zig’s experience and mine, when we say something enough that we believe, our actions follow.

4. Discover and internalize the real truth about who you are. [Tweet This]

As a believer and follower of Jesus Christ, my self-worth and self-esteem come from my relationship with Christ and what He says about me. Here are some paraphrases of what God says about me and you in the Bible: 1) You are capable of doing everything: Mark 9:23 and 11:24; 2) You are fully capable and have everything you need: Phil. 4:13 and 4:19; 3) You won’t fail: Psalm 55:22; 4) You are a people magnet who is full of energy: Matthew 5:14; and 5) Isaiah 40:31. Reading and memorizing God’s word is one of the greatest ways to improve yourself.

I want you to believe in yourself. The actions listed above can help you restore or improve your self-worth, so you not only see yourself different, but it’s evident to everyone.

Sound Off

What could you accomplish when you truly believe great things about yourself?

Jackie Bledsoe

Jackie Bledsoe is an author, blogger, and speaker, but first and foremost a husband and father of three, who helps men better lead and love the ones who matter most.

  • CJ

    That’s been my biggest problem in life that I have had to correct in myself over the past couple years. It took a couple major crisis points in my life — losing a job and a huge marital crisis — to make me realize that trying to follow life’s rules of A+B=C does not always work. I spent my life trying to do what was right by the culture’s standard’s of going to college out of high school, getting married, having kids, trying to work your way up the career ladder, going to and being active in your church, investing time in your wife and kids, only to see it all come crumbling down around me.

    The common denominator has been my self talk, which told me I was horrible and worthless and would never be good enough — as a child of God, as a husband, as a father, as a friend, as a worker. I basically spent the first 42 years of my life being my own worst enemy and I knew it. It’s only been over the past 2-plus years after all the huge trials and sinking into the pit that I finally allowed God to really start working inside me.

    I know I have such a long way to go, but just trying to take it one day at a time. And praying big time for God to remove those negative behaviors and victim/self-pity thoughts inside my head and heart. My greatest hurdle to this point in my life is to just stay married and that my wife is able to once again soften her heart to this man who is trying to let God create him anew.

    • DL

      Brother, you said a lot that has been going through my head lately. It is so easy to get wrapped up in the world’s view of success and end up broke and broken. It is a struggle to remember we are made in God’s own image, when the world shows us we should all have 6 pack abs and drive shiny new cars.
      As I read this article, I started to have the same negative self talk you discussed. I’m not good enough. Horrible father. Terrible husband. Then it hit me. Start thinking positive things about myself and my attitude instantly started to change. I’ve hardened my wife’s heart over the years too.
      Stay positive, God will provide for our needs. I’m praying for both of us. And the countless others like us.

      • CJ

        Amen, DL. Satan’s biggest strategy is to make us feel worthless by society’s standards — not God’s. And in my case, I put my wife in first place for the first 19 years of our marriage over God and it was something she couldn’t shoulder — and something she shouldn’t have had to. I basically smothered the poor woman, especially during my years of trials when I was unemployed and looked to her for all my emotional support when I needed to place my focus on God first.

        Over the last two years I have had to renew my mind and God got me to the place where I could only rely on Him first and everything else springs from there — starting with my wife and my children next.

        Praying for you, too, and all of our brothers in Christ out there who are living by the world’s standards and not our savior, Jesus Christ. Resting in Him helps put everything else in perspective and gives me enough strength to breath for another day!

        • CJ, thanks for sharing. Be encouraged and keep going. It’s a process, a journey, but you can make the journey!

      • Iron sharpens iron! Great encouragement, DL. You aren’t alone. A lot of us face this same challenge. But once we recognize it we can begin to change the “stinkin’ thinkin'” and do some great things.

  • I’m a big Zig Ziglar fan. I’m an even bigger Jackie Bledsoe fan!

    So many great insights in this article. I have an ongoing difficulty with #2, surrounding myself with positive people. Perhaps more accurately, I have a hard time protecting myself from negative people.

    There are a lot of the people in my family and, unfortunately, my church have fairly pessimistic outlooks. It’s hard to keep the negativity from creeping in. I often find myself commiserating, even exaggerating my own situation so I don’t make them feel “alone.”

    I kick myself about it, but that’s my natural tendency.

    Got any tricks I can steal?

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