how to keep a marriage alive

How to Keep A Marriage Alive

The Dead Sea is featured in many narratives of scripture. It is one of the world’s saltiest bodies of water because there is no outlet. Everything that flows into the Dead Sea pretty much stays there preventing anything from flourishing. Similarly, when our marriages have no outlet they can risk becoming like the Dead Sea: lifeless. [Tweet This]

My wife has admitted before that she’d lost hope in our marriage. She felt our marriage was lifeless and destined to remain that way. Almost all hope had been lost. While I wouldn’t admit it, I believe I’ve felt that from her, but also felt it myself. We’d spend years struggling and trying to solve our financial, intimacy, and communication problems. But oddly other couples close to us would seek our advice, perspective, and help in their marriage. We typically tried to distance ourselves from that and from sharing what was going on with us.

But later we learned an important lesson about this. Keeping our struggles to ourselves, bottling things up inside, individually, and as a couple was sucking the life out of our marriage. We became ‘salty’ towards one another, and sometimes to other people. Having outlets is how to keep a marriage alive. Here are 5 ways to do that.

1. An individual or married confidant you trust.

I heard a statistic that said 70% of men who committed adultery would not have if they had one true friend. Wow! We all need someone to serve as an outlet that we can openly and honestly share our struggles.

2. A couple who needs marital advice.

Later on in marriage one of the biggest lessons and blessings came when we began to have the heart to help and encourage other couples. Although our marriage had challenges, we were still willing to encourage other couples through our own experiences. This gave us hope. It caused us to listen and follow our own advice and it gave us one more reason to work our issues out.

3. A physical outlet.

We all have heard of the benefits of physical activity. It benefits our health, both mentally and physically. Not only does it benefit our bodies in this way, it benefits our marriages. When we move our bodies we feel better, we feel more energetic, we think clearer, and more. All these things translate to our relationship as we feel better about ourselves. Physical activity is a huge stress reliever, and marriage and life can be stressful.

4. A mental outlet.

Some may call this a hobby. No matter what you call it this can help to clear your mind and just give you a break from the everyday things that happen in life, marriage, and family. Maybe it’s reading a book, playing a game, or just some quiet time alone to think. These type of outlets are very important.

5. A getaway.

At least once per year my wife and I get away for a weekend alone. It’s the same weekend every year. And each and every year it is right on time. By the time it comes around life is weighing on us; married life is sometimes challenging, family life is busy and work bogs us down. Then we get our getaway weekend, and it provides the outlet we need to refresh, refuel, refocus, and re-engage with one another. It’s amazing and it will keep your marriage alive.

If you don’t have an outlet or outlets in your marriage then your marriage could become salty and slowly die. Be sure to make sure you are pouring out as much as what is coming into your life. Help others, share your struggles and get away from it all from time to time. Your marriage will thank you and stay alive.

Sound Off

How do you keep your marriage alive?

Jackie Bledsoe

Jackie Bledsoe is an author, blogger, and speaker, but first and foremost a husband and father of three, who helps men better lead and love the ones who matter most.

  • Thomas Stone (Tomm)

    Hey guys, I’m 27 and I’ve been married to my beautiful wife for only 2 months now! My wife has started to speak to me about the way I dress. God knows I’m a lazy dresser, I don’t put any thought into how I look and when we do go for a meal I think I look pretty good but in truth I Just put on my nicest clothes and look exactly like I do every other time we go out for food. I want to look as good as I can for her and I worried she’ll get bored of me in my current apparel but I just don’t know how to look more adult and more like a father and husband. I’m left with two options as far as I can see, learn how to dress more like a 27 year old and not a 18 year old or allow my wife (who has a much better eye for style and fashion) to choose my clothes. I would be offended if she chose my clothes but I think it would mean more to her if I did it off my own back so to speak. I realise I’m a newlywed but I want to be the best husband and father I can be. Any advice? Thank you

    • Layla

      If you agree that she has a much better eye for style and fashion, then let her make a few choices. How nice for you that she has a good eye! Lots of men allow their wives to buy their clothes. You’ll catch on soon enough to ‘do it off of your own back.’

      • Thomas Stone (Tomm)

        Thank you for your input, it’s appreciated

Subscribe to the Play of the Day for daily advice, videos and updates on how to be better dad.

Huddle up with your wife and ask, “How do you feel about our marriage lately?”

Sorry. No data so far.

lists to love by
read to your child tonight
Char Griller